Straight as a Straw
by frozencharisma
Summary: Yamato gets tangled in the web of lies he had carefully spun around Taichi to ensure that his secret crush on the other isn't found out. Of course, this is college and keeping the fact that you're gay (and a bit of a slut) hidden is nearly impossible. How will Taichi react when he stumbles on Yamato in a situation he can't lie his way out of? College Taito. Lots o' drama! Ch 6 up
1. The First Lie

Yamato tried opening his eyes, but they refused to budge so easily. There was a slightly uncomfortable pounding against his skull, but he was too sleepy to be bothered by it.

 _These sheets are so soft… Hmm… maybe I'll lie here for a while… Wait, what am I touching? This feels fuzzy… like hair?_

Yamato's eyes snapped open. _This ceiling isn't mine… my ceiling definitely isn't black._ He looked down at one of his hands and found it tangled in a brown mess of hair. Looking closer, he could see that the mess of hair was attached to a shirtless body. Looking down at his own unclothed body, he noticed that his torso was covered by a muscular arm that wasn't his own.

"Shit!" He groaned, not even bothering to keep his voice low. The ache in his head was making itself more apparent. He tried to take a look at his unfamiliar surroundings without moving his body too much. A clock on the desk read 9:45 am. _Not again…_

The mass next to him began to stir. Yamato realized at this point that he wasn't even sure who he was currently sharing a bed with.

Tired green eyes peered out at him from under the brown hair. _Well, that's good… at least the eyes are completely different_.

The other male yawned and sat up with a lazy stretch.

"Man, the rumors were true. Yamato Ishida is really something special in bed, even if you were wasted out of your mind." The brunet threw a casual wink in Yamato's direction. "I guess I'm a lucky guy?"

Yamato had no idea what to say to this. Between the nauseous feeling making its way into his stomach and the pain in his head, he couldn't find it in him to be flattered by his reputation at the moment.

"So… what do you say, down for another round, blondie?"

The brown-haired male made an endearing grab for Yamato's waist, just as Yamato found himself jumping out of the bed and frantically searching for his clothes.

"Hey, I'm sorry, uh thanks for last night… but I think I should go. I'm not really feeling that great."

Yamato speedily put on his pants and started buttoning his shirt, which he had found flung across the floor.

The brunet straightened up in the bed. "Hey I was half-joking, you don't have to rush out. We could just get breakfast or something-"

"Sorry again, I really don't think I can. Maybe I'll see you around again, uh," – Yamato remembered that he still didn't know the guy's name- "man."

And with that awkward goodbye, Yamato rushed out of the house, desperate to find his way back to his own bed. _Real smooth, Yamato… You can bet he won't be finding you again for a lay._ He didn't really care though.

He stumbled onto a street which he quickly recognized as part of the Upper Quarter, and found himself luckily only about a 10-minute walk from his own dorm room.

As he began his walk of shame, memories from the night before were beginning to spill back into his head, as they often did after a night of heavy drinking.

He had been at Cloud 9 again, and he'd had far too many shots, he was certain of that. He didn't quite remember if he had started talking to this guy first or if the guy had made a move on him, but one thing had led to another and, well... things had gotten steamy.

He wasn't really surprised by this course of events, since this wasn't even close to the first time that something similar had happened. In fact, he was more surprised that there was even a gay brunet out there who he hadn't slept with yet. _Must be a freshman. Still… he looked way too similar to a certain someone else._

"Dammit." Yamato groaned again as he fumbled with his keys and unlocked his door. He had specifically gone out and drank to forget about that certain someone, not to find a look-alike to bang. _How pathetic can I be?_

He had just managed to take off his shoes and swallow an aspirin and a full glass of water when he finally thought to check his cell phone.

 _11 missed calls and 7 new texts._

As if on cue, he heard a loud banging on his door. _Please don't let that be who I think it is._

Another knock. _Okay,_ _who am I kidding? I know exactly who that is._

Remorsefully, he slowly walked over and swung the door open to face the very person that had (unknowingly) led to his night of drunken misadventures.

"There you are, finally!" Taichi growled, forcing his way into the doorway.

His tall, brown-haired best friend stood with his arms crossed across his chest and a glare on his face. "So, do you mind telling me what exactly you were doing last night that was so important that you missed our Fortune Friday tradition? And that you couldn't respond to any of my phone calls?"

Yamato shifted his eyes to a particularly interesting spot on the dry wall. He really hated lying to Taichi. He imagined it was a similar feeling to lying to your mother, except that he couldn't recall a time when he had talked long enough to his own mother to get a chance to lie to her. So really, Tai was the person he hated lying to most in this world (aside from his little brother, Takeru, maybe).

 _And yet, you've been lying to him an awful lot lately, haven't you?_ A nasty voice in his head piped up.

Unfortunately, he had no comeback for the stupid voice in his head, because it was right. He thought back to his first big lie to Taichi, many months ago.

XxXxXxXxXx (flashback)

It had been at the end of the first semester at University while they were just freshmen. Yamato could still remember the exact hallway where they had been standing and the freaked out look from the janitor when he had seen Yamato smashing his fist into the wall after the conversation was over.

"I don't think we should be roommates anymore, Tai." Yamato had said solemnly, barely having the guts to look at Taichi's confused reaction. Yamato hadn't wanted to do this, of course, but he didn't think he could handle it anymore. He was going to spontaneously combust one day soon if he didn't do this.

"What do you mean, Yama?" Taichi had questioned him with wide, clear eyes. "We're great roommates- everyone says it! Besides it's still only halfway through the year and our schedules match up perfectly. And come on," Tai had then proceeded to flash him a wonderful smile, "you know I wouldn't feel as comfortable with anyone else!"

Warmth had bubbled into Yamato's chest at the time, but it was quickly replaced with guilt. Yamato closed his eyes, wanting to tell the idiot how that was exactly the issue. Taichi Yagami was TOO comfortable with him. It was the only explanation for Tai's habit of walking around half-naked at all hours of the day, randomly cuddling with Yamato at night, and being entirely too oblivious to the fact that Yamato always needed a cold shower after their play wrestling matches.

Not to mention that being roommates with Taichi forced Yamato to the brink of depression every night that Taichi wouldn't come back to the room until the next morning.

You see, Taichi hadn't changed much from the days of the Digimon World. He was still the same caring, funny, and loud Taichi. The only difference, really, was that at some point he became aware that as a star athlete who also happened to be nice, he tended to attract a lot of girls. And at some point in his first month of college, he had also discovered that sex was a thing, and that it could be pretty entertaining.

Now all of this really shouldn't have been a huge problem for Yamato, since Taichi never spent much time with those girls anyway. But every time Taichi came home with lipstick smeared on his collar and a goofy look on his face it was like he was shooting a "hey, I'm straight and will never like you" arrow right through Yamato's chest.

Of course, Yamato couldn't explain any of that. So instead, he masked the emotion on his face and searched for another excuse. He should've known Taichi would want a reason. Since when had Taichi ever been good at taking the word 'no' at face value?

"Look, I'm sorry, Tai. But things aren't the same as when we were kids. We're in college now!" At least that was the truth. He tried not to notice how Tai's face fell and added, "Besides, you're too messy and loud for me sometimes!"

He could see Taichi's temper start to flare at the (admittedly dumb) reason. "Oh, so that's what's up now? Yamato, the popular pretty boy musician, is too _elite_ to be roommates with someone messy like me? You never seemed to have a problem with that before college. After all we've been through together… I didn't realize that I wasn't allowed to be myself around you." He said the last part bitterly.

That struck an especially heartbreaking chord with Yamato, simply because of how _untrue_ of a statement it was. He loved that Taichi could be himself around him. Because of that, he got to see glimpses of the amazing parts of Tai that the rest of the world could only imagine. Like, who else knew that the brunet athlete also loved mystery novels, and playing cards, and volunteering at the animal shelter and giving his favorite animals Digimon nicknames?

He glanced warily at the angry face in front of him and quickly recognized where this usual pattern of disagreement would lead them. Taichi probably wouldn't want to give this up without a fight.

"Look, I never said I didn't want to be friends, Tai." He then managed to make his own voice sound even more emotionless. "I just need my own privacy. A little space, OK?" Yamato winced inwardly, realizing he sounded like some evil girlfriend in a telenovela. But one look at the crestfallen shadow in Taichi's eyes, and Yamato realized he had more than succeeded.

Yamato felt like he had committed some type of cardinal sin. Taichi valued his friends above all else. For Yamato to cut him off so suddenly, even for such a simple thing like being roommates, he knew Taichi would feel betrayed. Yamato braced himself for an incoming fist to the face.

A moment of awkward silence passed between the two. He then heard Taichi sigh.

"Sorry, _Yamato_ ," –Yamato cringed at Taichi's purposeful use of his full name- "I was probably acting too clingy. I mean, it makes sense that you wouldn't want to be roommates forever. Plus, we'll still hang out, right?" Taichi gave him a weak smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and folded his arms above his head.

Yamato felt awful. Was Taichi some sort of saint or something? Why didn't he have the Crest of Friendship instead of Yamato? Also, what had Yamato done in his past life to deserve a friend like him? Taichi had plenty of other people he could be hanging out with. _And those people don't act like total jerks to him for no apparent reason,_ the voice in his head helpfully added.

"Yes, definitely..." Yamato wanted to say more (something along the lines of _I'd actually like to hang out with only you forever)_ , but bit back the words and shoved his hands into his pockets.

He knew that every time he hung out with Taichi, he risked the other boy finding out about his not-so-minor crush. And the more he hung out with him, the more depressed he would get afterwards. But, he couldn't just say no to that face. And secretly, he knew that no matter how much he tried to distance himself, he could never completely stop hanging out with Taichi because he just enjoyed it too much.

Taichi's frown remained, and he studied Yamato's face carefully. As Yamato turned around to leave, Taichi asked quietly, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Yamato, with his back turned to Tai, barely managed to keep his poker face on. He was going to have to lie again, for the second time in less than an hour, and he would have to be convincing this time.

"I'm fine, Taichi," Yamato snapped. "Just because someone doesn't want to be your roommate anymore doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. It's not like everything revolves around you."

He didn't know how Taichi reacted to that statement, but when he looked back again a few moments later the brunet was gone.

It had been one week since the first big lie, and a week since Yamato had packed his bags and left the room (while Taichi had been at soccer practice, of course, because he was a coward). Taichi had a new roommate and even a new lab partner (who happened to be a pretty girl). Everything had gone according to plan. And Yamato felt like shit.

 _You should be glad. This was the whole purpose of lying to him, right?_ the ugly voice had reminded him, but it didn't make Yamato feel any better.

Yamato had been hoping that by getting his own room alone, he could finally try and distract himself with other guys. Up until now, he had repressed showing the slightest outward interest in any guys for fear of being found out and Taichi pushing him away. He had been hoping to discover that, surely, Taichi wasn't the only attractive male on this whole campus. Certainly, he should be able to find someone who was actually capable of seeing him as more than a friend _and_ who accepted his sexual preferences.

Unfortunately, at the moment, Yamato still couldn't think about anyone but Taichi, his best friend who he had royally screwed things up with. His best friend who suddenly seemed to be totally content with ignoring Yamato for the rest of eternity.

Yamato briefly wondered if he made a mistake. But no, he had to stop being roommates with Taichi. It was getting dangerous.

He could see the future all played out in his head, like some Shakespearean play.

(Act 1) Sooner or later, Taichi would discover that Yamato's preference leaned towards guys.  
(Act 2) Eventually, even someone as dense as Taichi was bound to realize that all of Yamato's stares and blushes weren't natural.  
(Act 3) And finally, Taichi would tell Yamato that he just couldn't see him like that and that he no longer wanted to be friends. Or even worse, he would hate Yamato for being the way he is and that would we probably drive Yamato to the river just like poor Ophelia.

Okay, so maybe he was being a little dramatic. Also, he couldn't let things continue the way they were now either. Ever since he met Taichi, the boy had always been a constant rock in Yamato's life, a rock that pulled him out of his shell and made him happy. And now, it had already been a month since Taichi had talked to him and it was entirely Yamato's fault. Hikari had even called Yamato to ask what the hell his problem was. He hated lying to her too.

So, when the next Friday came around, he summoned all of his courage and cornered Taichi after their philosophy class.

"Tai, are you avoiding me?" Yamato frowned when he realized his words came out more accusatory than he intended.

Taichi's eyes widened at being confronted. "No… I've just been busy…" He grabbed his backpack and made a movement towards the door. Yamato blocked him.

"Taichi… you don't have to lie to me." _Yes, I know, that's pretty hypocritical coming from my mouth._

Taichi finally looked him in the eyes and shrugged uncomfortably. "Well, you said you wanted space, so I was just giving you what you wanted." His voice lowered slightly, "Whatever it was that I messed up before, I didn't want to mess it up again."

Yamato's heart melted. _How can I tell him that it's not his fault without explaining everything…_ Yamato succeeded in warming his voice this time and tried to ask for forgiveness with his eyes. "I know I said some pretty mean things… things that best friends just shouldn't say... but look…"

Yamato ran his hands through his hair and couldn't seem to put the right words together. _What exactly was he trying to do? It's not like he could tell Taichi the truth…_

"Look, Taichi, could we maybe get a drink? And make fun of the stupid drunk people at the bars? And then play video games? Just like old times?"

Yamato's hopeful question was met with a weird look from Taichi, like he was battling between two different thoughts. Yamato felt like retreating to a dark spot under a desk. _Wow, maybe he's really going to say no. Good job, Yamato, you really fucked this one up. Did you expect him to embrace you with a wet kiss or something just because you apologized?_

But by the time Yamato braved another look at Tai, his features had softened and he had a small smile on his face. "Sure, Yama, if that's what you would like. I missed you."

His smile quickly morphed into a smirk. "But please, next time you feel like changing your moods around because it's _that time of the month_ , I don't mind really… but maybe just give me some warning? I have to mentally prepare myself."

Yamato felt immediately elated as the tension dissolved, but he wasn't about to let Taichi have that jab without any consequences. "Oh yeah? Who's the one who's been avoiding me like some shy schoolgirl?"

Taichi just laughed, seemingly unbothered by Yamato's comeback. "Actually, speaking of hanging out… I found this awesome bar the other day. It's called Fortune and the waitresses there love me! We can get free shots!"

Yamato shook his head at how carefree Taichi was able to act. It was as if he forgot about the month of silent treatment they'd been giving each other. But that was so typical _Taichi_.

"Well… are you coming or are you just going to stand there all day with that creepy look?"

"Shut up!"

And that had been how the tradition of Fortune Fridays had started.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX (end flashback)

They were now second-semester sophomores and, although they had expanded their bar choices to some of the classier ones and would occasionally forgo the idea of drinking altogether in favor of staying inside and watching a movie, they hadn't missed a single "Fortune Friday" with each other.

Actually, that wasn't entirely accurate. They hadn't missed a single Fortune Friday UNTIL yesterday, when Yamato had made the rash decision to skip out without giving Tai a good reason.

He did have a good reason, of course, but it wasn't one that he could tell Taichi. How was he supposed to tell Taichi that he had pretty much turned lifeless when he heard, just the day before, that Tai was dating the pretty blonde in their philosophy class? And from the rumors, it was pretty serious.

He had always known that Taichi would eventually want to get into a real relationship, but now that it actually happened it still felt like a slap in the face and a kick to the stomach.

So instead, the rationale part of his brain told him to ignore Taichi and Fortune Friday and head straight to Cloud 9, the infamous gay bar on campus, and proceed to drink away his problems all night. This was in hopes that when he finally did have to face Tai he would be composed enough to congratulate him properly, and maybe even be able to manage a beautiful fake smile and a solid pat on the back.

Perhaps the rationale side of his brain wasn't very intelligent at all, though, because it had tried to convince him that Taichi wouldn't care about Fortune Fridays anyway now that he had a girlfriend. But now it was Saturday morning and Taichi was at his door seeming to care very much, if his clenched fists and heavy breathing were any indication.

Yamato snapped back to the reality of the current situation.

Taichi was looking at him expectantly, "Well, what is it? And don't give me that bullshit "I'm sick" excuse like you did in the text you sent me yesterday. I replied right away that I would bring you over some ramen, and you never even responded!"

Yamato realized he had to say _something_. "Taichi… I'm really sorry, I just got caught up in something. I was too busy to respond."

"You. Were. Too. BUSY?!" Taichi started angrily, but then abruptly stopped. Yamato looked up at him. The brunet was now giving him a more calculating look, as if he had just noticed Yamato's hungover appearance and crumpled up dress clothes.

"Wait a second… did you just get home, Yama? You never go out without ironing your clothes." He noticed Taichi's eyes go wide as they fixated on a spot on his neck. "And is that a hickey?!"

Yama clasped his hand over his neck, but it was too late. _Shit, my pale skin is always getting me in trouble_. He attempted to deny the claim, "You know my skin has allergic reactions easily…" but Taichi was clearly ignoring him. _Of course he would be able to easily recognize what a hickey looks like._

Taichi looked as if he was contemplating something. Yamato squeezed his eyes shut. _Oh, this is it, he's finally going to find out that his best friend is not only gay, but also a manwhore._

"But, the Yamato I know doesn't just sleep with girls and leave them…" Yamato watched as a variety of expressions flitted across Taichi's face. "Does that mean... you finally got a girlfriend? Is that why you missed Fortune Friday?"

Yamato almost face-palmed. _Of all the conclusions to land on, that was what he decided was most likely?_ Well, it was probably better than any other excuse Yamato could think of at the moment, and maybe it would get him off the hook for missing Friday.

Yamato didn't trust his voice not to betray him so he just nodded slowly, rearranging his face into what he hoped was the look of someone in love and not someone who had just gotten black-out drunk and slept with a total stranger. _There's another lie I can add to my growing list._

Taichi looked surprised at the affirmation, but quickly overcame the shock and flashed him a smile. He gave Yamato a wink that made Yamato's heart skip a beat and then proceeded to assault him with questions, "Really? So what lucky girl snatched up Yamato Ishida's heart? Why didn't you tell me? Here I was all this time thinking that Gabumon and music were your only true love!"

 _No, dumbass, you were my only true love._ Yamato's headache was back in full force as Taichi's rambling started to blend together. If he had entertained any hope that Taichi might have the slightest bit of interest in him, it was all crushed at seeing how truly happy Taichi was for him and his "girlfriend". He pushed those depressing thoughts aside for later, as he was now in a predicament. What was he supposed to tell Taichi about this girlfriend who didn't exist?

Distraction was probably the best tactic.

Yamato put his hands on his hips and muttered, "Well, it's not like you told me about _your_ girlfriend, Mr. Popular. I had to hear about it from some dumb cheerleader's mouth in the cafeteria. She was going on and on about how the notorious "lady killer" had finally met his perfect match." Yamato tried to keep his tone light and teasing so as to drown out any of the feelings of disappointment sneaking into his voice, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded.

Guilt flooded Tachi's features. "You heard about Carla? Sorry I meant to tell you- well I _wanted_ to tell you in person so I thought Fortune Friday would be a good time, but then you canceled…"

"So what happened to your goal of sleeping with a different chick every week?" Yamato asked dryly.

Taichi scrunched up his face. "Hey, I'm not that bad! Besides, I was kind of thinking-"

"You mean you're actually capable of _thinking?_ "

"Shut it! Like I was saying, I thought it might be time to get into an actual relationship. I mean sleeping around, it's fun you know, but it didn't really make me as happy anymore. And then I met Carla and she seemed less ditzy and more funny than most of the girls I'd met, so I figured why not?"

Yamato could feel his chest tighten as Taichi praised the girl. _Dammit, maybe this wasn't the right distraction tactic._

"Well anyway Taichi, as much as I want to hear the details," –another lie- "I'm feeling kind of tired right now… Long night, you know?"

"I'm sure it was," Taichi said in a suggestive tone while looking over Yamato's clothes. "I'll give you some time to clean up first. And then tonight we celebrate for both of us! I'll try and get the rest of the gang together, too!" He sprinted down the corridor back to his own dorm, not even giving Yamato a chance to respond.

Yamato shut the door and slumped to the ground immediately. _How am I going to get out of this one?_

* * *

 **Ah...I'm sorry if this was a bit long and drawn out. I swear I started this with a good plot idea and then as I began writing it just took its own direction (blame my crappy writing), but I think I know how I'm going to frame the next few chapters (and it will be more exciting hopefully), so stay tuned.**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading! Let me know what you think of it so far!**


	2. The First Discovery

"And then he kept telling me how he couldn't wait to meet _her_!"

Yamato finished telling the story of his weekend to one of his best friends, Kyo, before collapsing dramatically onto the coffee table at a cozy café downtown. Kyo had long, dark green hair, sharp black eyes, and very pretty features for a male. Yamato had met him at Cloud 9 his freshman year and the two had hit it off after realizing they were both majoring in performance arts.

"Real smooth! Telling the love of your life that you have a girlfriend has got to have been one of the worst things you could do." Kyo said dryly.

"Like I don't already know that! So come on, can't you dress up as a girl for me? As a favor for the wonderful company I keep you?" Yamato tried to convince Kyo. He knew that Kyo normally detested being compared to a girl, and would have thrown a fit if anyone else had suggested it. But Yamato had received his own fair share of comments on his "girly" attributes, so Kyo didn't seem to care when he said it.

"Psh, no way!" Kyo exclaimed, "Not even a dozen of your infamous blow jobs" -Yamato rolled his eyes at that- "could make me want to get involved with this messed up situation! You know I've always told you that you should just tell the damn kid that you're practically obsessed with him."

"You know I can't tell him that!" Yamato said exasperatedly, holding up the straw from the frappucino he was having. "He's straighter than this straw! AND he has a girlfriend now! That's the whole reason this mess started." He groaned and put his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have skipped out on Fortune Friday."

"Oh yeah, so what happened after you lied to him about having a girlfriend? Which, by the way, I can't believe he bought." Kyo still seemed amused at the thought of someone as gay as Yamato having a girlfriend.

"Well, you know Taichi, he likes to do everything in a very, uh, grand style. So he planned a party at one of the biggest bars on campus, and he invited all of our old gang. Don't get me wrong, it was super awesome to see them all. I just wish it were under different circumstances… AKA not the celebration of my crush dating someone else and me supposedly finding a girlfriend."

"Didn't they wonder where she was?"

"I told them she was a pre-med student from another uni, and that she really needed to study that night."

"And they believed you? That's textbook 'I have a fake girlfriend' line."

"Yes, they believed me! Well… mostly." Now that he thought about it, actually, Sora hadn't seemed entirely convinced, and Mimi had burst out laughing without saying anything else. Girls really were a mystery to him.

"Well anyway, so Saturday night went fairly well." Yamato continued, "The bigger issue was trying to keep up the façade the next morning when Taichi came over for breakfast-"

"Wait, as in, he came over and you made him breakfast?" Kyo interrupted.

"Yeah, that's pretty normal for us. Because…" Yamato thought back to how he'd been making food for Taichi since they were kids. He didn't really know how it had even started. He shrugged. "Well, I don't think Taichi's bad at cooking… but says he always prefers it when I make food for him."

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Geez, did you also dress up in a pink apron and make heart-shaped toast for him? How does he not realize he practically already has a wife?"

Yamato flushed pink. "I already told you it's not like that! We were just hanging out!"

"I bet there's more than a handful of guys that would give a pinky to date you." Kyo said in a teasing voice. "I wonder what it would do to your aloof, mysterious reputation if they knew you were head over heels for your straight, childhood best friend. So cliché."

"Kyo, _please_ , I don't need anyone else finding out about my secrets." Yamato said exasperatedly. "Especially since Taichi will probably find out that I don't have a girlfriend since you refuse to pretend to be mine." He shot a dirty look at Kyo.

"Hey, man, it's your own pretty mouth that got you in this situation." Kyo took a long sip of his coffee and sighed sympathetically. "But, it must get tiring living a double life like some secret agent. Wouldn't it be easier to just tell him, and the rest of your friends, the truth? You don't know that they'll hate you because of it. They might not even care."

"I know, I know. I'm just waiting for... the right moment." Yamato assured the other boy, as well as himself. "Sooner or later, I will."

Yamato did not know at that time that things were going to change, and sooner rather than later.

"Well, I should probably get to class." Kyo said ruefully as he packed up his stuff. "The teacher was going to give us the day off today, but some brat in class recommended that we use the day for project time. Guess what? The teacher actually heard him and ended up making it a mandatory project class. I hate people sometimes. Anyway, good luck with your boy issues!" He said with a wave.

Yamato looked around and hoped no one had heard that last line. Fortunately, everyone was buried in their own work.

He packed up his own bags and headed to his own psychology class, happy to be arriving a few minutes early. He disliked the feeling of going to class late and having the entire class stare at you as you painstakingly made your way to the seat. Taichi, it seemed, never had that worry because he usually walked in nonchalantly just as class was beginning. Sure enough, his seat was still empty when Yamato arrived.

He sighed as he leaned back in his seat and let his thoughts wander. The weekend had definitely been a shitshow, no doubt about it, but he felt slightly better after talking it out with Kyo. Maybe Taichi now having a girlfriend meant things could go back to being normal for Yamato. Or as normal as they could be when you had a massive crush on your male best friend and hated yourself for it, and also frequently caught yourself daydreaming about him in very inappropriate positions.

"Alright class, today we will be discussing developmental behaviors in animals…"

A few minutes passed and Yamato shot another sideways glance at the empty seat next to him. It was starting to get late, even for Taichi. He wondered if the boy had decided to skip class today.

He was starting to feel slightly miffed that Taichi hadn't bothered to let him know (even though that was completely unfair), when he heard the class door open suddenly.

"Ah Yagami, thank you for joining us today." The teacher drawled sarcastically, before continuing his lecture.

"You're welcome, sir!" Tai cheerily responded as usual as he made his way to his seat.

What wasn't usual, however, was the white bandage on his nose and the early markings of a black eye on his face that Yamato could spot even across the room.

 _"What the heck happened to you?"_ Yamato whispered urgently as the other boy took his seat. Anger was seeping into his voice, as the blond was already preparing a revenge plan against the perpetrator. He could also hear other whispers throughout the classroom. They were probably equally bewildered, because Taichi was one of the most liked guys on campus and it wasn't typical of him to pick a fight either.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." Taichi whispered back to Yamato while taking out his own notebook. Yamato didn't know why he made such a show of it, since Taichi never actually took notes.

"Taichi!"

"I'll tell you after class, okay?" Taichi turned his eyes back to the teacher, apparently not wanting to attract attention from the others.

Yamato accepted the answer for now, but couldn't pay attention for the rest of class. By the time the teacher was wrapping up, he had only written about two lines down in his notebook.

He followed Taichi out of the classroom and towards another building.

Yamato wasted no time in getting to the point once they were outside and looked over at Taichi. "So, what happened? Who the hell hit you?"

"It wasn't like what you're thinking, no one hit me."

"Then what?"

"Actually, I... got into a bit of an argument with a couple of guys after soccer practice because I heard them say something and got a little mad and couldn't control myself. So that's how I got this." Taichi pointed to his right eye and gave a half-hearted grin, but the lingering rage in his eyes told Yamato there was more to the story. He was very used to reading Taichi's body language and everything about the brunet was still tense despite his attempts to appear calm.

Yamato cocked an eyebrow and pressed on. "So, what got you so mad? That's not like you to get involved in other people's business."

Taichi shifted his eyes to the grass and shoved his hands in his pockets. "They're the ones who weren't minding their own business…" But he didn't say anything else.

Unlike Yamato, Taichi was awful at hiding things. He was just too honest of a person to usually filter anything coming out of his mouth. The fact that he was even trying piqued Yamato's interest immediately.

Yamato was about to inquire further when they were interrupted by a high-pitched voice.

"Taiiii~!" They both turned to see a curvy blonde running towards them. _I'm definitely going to continue this conversation later._

She rushed towards Taichi and turned his face towards her. "I heard that you were in a fight. Are you okay, sweetie?"

"Don't worry, Carla, it's fine! Doesn't hurt at all." But Yamato could see him wince slightly as Carla brushed her fingers over the bruises.

"Besides, you should have seen the other guy, he's way worse off." He added with a flex of his arms.

Yamato just shook his head. _Oh, that typical false bravado…_

Taichi must have suddenly remembered his presence. "Oh Carla, you've met Yamato, right? He's in our literature class."

Carla turned to Yamato, and he got a better view of her big blue eyes and the splattering of freckles across her face.

"I don't think we've formally met, but I almost feel like I know you since I've heard _tons_ about you from Taichi. Looking forward to being friends!" She gave a slight bow.

She was pretty cute. She also seemed like a genuinely nice person. Also, Yamato hated her.

Regardless, he put on his best charming smile. After all, this was someone Taichi clearly cared about and he didn't want to come off like an idiot. He was, at the very least, flattered to hear that Taichi talked about him when he wasn't even around.

"Nice to meet you too! I can only hope that Tai was telling you how talented and fun to be around I am." He shot a teasing look at Taichi.

Before Carla could say anything, Taichi interjected playfully, "Actually, I was telling her how surprised I was that you're still able to walk around so gracefully with such a large ego weighing your head down. Any day now you might just fall over while you're on stage performing."

"Thanks for your concern, Taichi." Yamato shot back. "But I'm more worried about that hair of yours. How much does it weigh now, like 5 pounds? If you try to hit the soccer ball with your head, it might just get stuck in there."

"Hey, I like my hair! It has character! Plus," Tai said proudly, "I've been told it's surprisingly nice to run one's fingers through." He smiled at Carla who was looking back at him with sappy eyes. Yup, Yamato hated her. He was also sure that he didn't need that added detail making its way into his stupid fantasies. _Not that he hadn't already imagined grabbing onto that hair, in many other- intense- situations…_

Carla's voice shook him out of his thoughts before they progressed, thankfully. "Neh, weren't we going to get food now, Taichi? We should get going. Would you like to join us Yamato?" She was polite as before, but Yamato got the faint sense that she was hoping he'd say no.

 _It's okay, I think I'd much rather pour sand into my eyes anyway._ "That's okay, I just got food earlier. Have fun though!"

Taichi nodded and waved goodbye. "Okay, see you! Oh yeah, do you want to come work out with me tomorrow? I'm heading to the east gym around 7pm. You probably haven't worked out in forever!"

Yamato's face blanched for a second before he covered it up. Yamato had given up working out with Taichi a long time ago. _Sweaty Taichi, locker rooms with Taichi, showers with Taichi, no, no, a gigantic nope. He did not need any part of that in his life._ So he'd always told Taichi he was too busy to work out.

But today, he felt an irrational inclination to let Carla to know that he was going to be spending time with Taichi without her. Yes, it was incredibly petty. No, he had never claimed he was above being petty. Plus, he could ask him about what happened earlier today.

"Sure, my class lets out right before then so I can meet you there by the pull-up bars?"

"Okay, hope you're prepared to be sore!" Taichi said before walking away, completely oblivious to both the double entendre and Yamato's inner turmoil.

XxxXxxXxxXx

It was a few minutes past 7 on Wednesday and Yamato met Taichi at the gym, as promised. Of course, he first spent a few minutes when he was sure no one else was watching admiring Taichi and the way those tan muscles rippled under the pressure of weights. _How was it that Taichi could make a simple white tank top and red shorts so appealing even with a black eye?_

Unfortunately, Taichi must have somehow sensed his presence because he turned around right in the direction of where Yamato was standing and ogling away.

Yamato panicked internally. _Shit, please don't look like you were just picturing giving him a massage, unclothed. Think of something unsexy. Think of Takeru and Hikari kissing. Oh… ew._

"Are you okay Yamato?" Taichi had walked up to him and was giving him a curious look.

 _Shit, my imagination overdid it._ Yamato waved it off. "Yeah I'm fine, I had just forgotten how many " _bros_ " there are around the gym. And chicks that look like they're here just to find a date instead of actually work out. What's the point of all that make up if it's just going to sweat off?"

Taichi shrugged and grinned. "Beats me. But I've met a few cute girls here so I can't really complain."

Yamato rolled his eyes and ignored the familiar pang of being reminded of Taichi's heterosexuality. "Well, I am pretty out of shape so I'll probably just hit the treadmills."

"Okay, I'll join you too! I already did my set of weights." So they both headed towards the treadmills.

Yamato picked the treadmill farthest to the left out and was about to start up the machine when he noticed a large blue wad of chewing gum stuck under one of the handles.

"Ugh…" He muttered and moved towards another machine.

Taichi caught the disgusted look on his face and stared at him and the treadmill for a few seconds before breaking out laughing.

Yamato looked at him. "Hey, did I miss something extremely funny? Do I look that awkward in workout clothes?"

Taichi struggled to stop laughing and put on a straight face. "No, I was just remembering the time in high school when you were sleeping on your desk and somehow got the chewing gum that someone had stuck on there into your hair. Your _perfect_ hair." He started chuckling again. "And we all tried to help you get it out, but eventually Mimi had to cut it and you had this bald spot on your head. You were so sad about it you were almost _crying_."

Yamato glowered in mock anger. Yes, he remembered that day very well. He'd never quite forgiven chewing gum, especially if it was of the pink variety. "Well, I'm glad my extremely traumatic experience brings you such humor."

Taichi continued completely unfazed by Yamato's comment. "And then Sora gave you that purple hat to try and cover it up, but the hat was even worse than the bald spot."

Yamato couldn't help but crack a smile at the memory of the stupid hat and suddenly both him and Taichi burst into a fit of laughter, earning a few weird looks from the other gym-goers. _It was probably against gym bro law to laugh while using the treadmills._

The two of them finished their workouts in the next hour and headed to the locker rooms to change, Yamato a lot redder and sweatier than Taichi. Yamato was facing the reality that having regular weekend sex had unfortunately not done anything for improving his cardio.

"Well, it'll get a lot easier if you start working out like two to three times a week. You can come with me!" Taichi suddenly stopped talking and walking as two bulkier guys walked by in front of them that Yamato recognized from Taichi's soccer games.

The guys gave the two of them an unfriendly sneer before walking into the locker room and Yamato also noticed that they both had bruises on their face.

Yamato turned to Taichi knowingly. "Were those the guys you got into a fight with yesterday?" Taichi just nodded, still staring at the locker room doors. "Those bastards. You know, the two of us could go in there and probably take them pretty easily. They've never even saved the world from a bunch of evil monsters." Yamato didn't know exactly what the two had done, but it was enough that they made Taichi upset.

Instead, Taichi dragged Yamato over to a secluded area with a bunch of cool-down mats. "Let's – _uh_ \- let's wait to go in the locker room. I think we should stretch on the mats for a little while since we missed that part." Yamato noticed that Taichi looked distinctly uncomfortable compared to how he was while they were working out.

It wasn't like Taichi to be so non-confrontational. Yamato put his hands on his hips and pressed the topic again. "Ok, why does it seem like you don't want to tell me what those guys said earlier?" Taichi looked up at him, startled. _Okay, I guess I hit the nail on that_. "If you don't tell me, then I'm just going to go back in there anyway."

"No! Don't do that." Taichi looked him in the eyes finally and started talking all in one breath, "Those guys were being dumb, they were talking about you, and I didn't like it so I punched them."

Yamato was caught off guard and wasn't sure he heard correctly with how fast Taichi had mumbled it out. "Talking about me?"

Taichi seemed to have given up on trying to keep it a secret. He sounded somewhat embarrassed when he finally continued in a low voice, "Yeah, they were saying some, uh, sexual stuff about you and then I heard them call you a… _fag_ and I just snapped." Taichi's eyes flashed dangerously. "I could never let those assholes get away with saying that shit about you when they don't even know anything about you."

Yamato completely missed that last part because his brain had completely stopped functioning as soon as he heard the word fag come out of Taichi's mouth. Even if Taichi was just quoting what the other guys said, something about hearing _that_ word in Taichi's smooth voice felt like a giant ax had been thrown into Yamato's heart. Yamato almost felt like he couldn't breathe. _He knows, he knows, he knows and he hates me for it._

"Yama?"

 _Say something, you idiot. Say you're thankful. Say that it's not a big deal what they said. Say anything!_ Yamato's mouth was being extremely uncooperative, though, and he just stared at Taichi with wide eyes. _How did those soccer guys find out, were they just guessing or did they know for real? Does Taichi think the same way?_

Taichi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, Yama, I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to be upset by it. I know I would be. But I also didn't want you to let you go talk to those guys and then have them pull something creepy. I already told them you don't swing like that but who knows what they'll do."

Yamato felt a slight sense of relief flow back into him when he heard his last words. _Okay, he still doesn't know. He didn't believe what they said._ He could easily handle two lusty jocks (he was used to that), but he definitely couldn't handle Taichi calling him a fag.

"But yeah, you should be careful around those guys." Taichi added in a concerned tone.

Yamato's heart fluttered happily, despite still being panicked by the situation. _Taichi was… being protective of him?_ Well, he was always protective of all the Chosen children, but that didn't stop Yamato from feeling special.

"I, uh, yeah, I will." Yamato finally managed to choke out. "And thanks. Thanks for punching them for me."

"Yeah, those guys are seriously ungrateful assholes. There are always some people that I don't think I would have minded _as much_ if Myotismon had put into eternal deep sleep."

Yamato knew Taichi was joking to cheer him up, but could only manage a weak laugh.

"You sure you're okay? Want me to walk back with you?"

 _He had way too many jumbled emotions in his head to be able to keep up a conversation with Taichi at the moment._ "No, I'm okay. Thanks though, really, for everything." Yamato gave him a warm smile.

Taichi just beamed his characteristic smile at him. "Of course, what are best friends for?"

He looked so earnest in that moment that Yamato almost broke. He wanted to tell him right there and then everything from why he never even really liked Sora to the truth about his fake girlfriend. Even if he wouldn't return his feelings in a million years, he just wanted Taichi to know how loved he was.

But then, wouldn't that just be transferring his burden onto Taichi? He didn't want Taichi who was so happy and had such a perfect life to suffer because of Yamato's own issues. So instead he just mirrored his best friend's expression and waved goodbye before walking his own way.

XxXxXxX

It was Saturday night and Yamato was stressed and sexually frustrated. And when Yamato got stressed and sexually frustrated, he usually found himself alone by the bar at Cloud 9. His week had been filled with too many questions about his "girlfriend", too many panic attacks, and too much exposure to a certain brown-haired Digidestined.

He happily embraced the warm feeling taking over the depths of his brain. Yes, he _deserved_ this. After all, he hadn't even bashed anyone's head in all week. Not even _Carla's_.

 _Stop thinking about him!_ He raised the rim of the cold glass to his mouth and downed a quarter of his drink.

A few seconds passed. _It was impossible not to think about it._

"Am I an idiot?" He hiccupped. "What sane p-person would fall in love?" His not-so-poetic words were starting to slur.

"Listen, Nick," Yamato pointed to the closest person around, who just happened to be the bartender. "You better do yourself a favor and never f-fall for anyone. Love iss for idiots."

The bartender must've been feeling kind, because he indulged Yamato. "You're not an idiot, you're just a kid in college. But you are a nice kid… why don't you just tell this guy how you feel?"

"No no, you don't underssstand. No one understands." He suddenly took the straw out of his drink and started waving it around, splashing bits of rum and coke on the bar. _Why were there never any other straight objects around?_ "He's straighter than this straw! I'm probably as fuckable as a door from his point of view."

The bartender gave him a sympathetic look. "That's rough, kid. I probably can't do anything to help that… but here, next round is on me. It'll cheer you up, I promise." He turned around and started fixing a drink with some top-shelf alcohol.

"Thanks, Nick. You're the only one I can trust." Yamato lamented as he laid his head on the bar, his blond hair fanning into his eyes. For a moment, he almost felt at peace with the slight buzzing in his head. But it was quickly interrupted by a baritone voice.

"Ah, so that's the story of Yamato Ishida? It's more pathetic than I expected."

Yamato lifted his head and shot a glare at the owner of the intrusive words. The offending person looked to be a junior or a senior, and had silky black hair and olive skin. He was perched in the seat to the left of him (Yamato had thought that seat had been empty just a few minutes ago) and his words led Yamato to believe that he was probably a jerk. A _n incredibly good-looking jerk_ , _though_ , his brain supplied. He probably checked him out for a second too long because the black-haired boy started smirking at him.

Yamato shook his head. "You know what? It'ss none of your bus-iness. Fuck off." It probably wasn't a great comeback, but it was the best Yamato's bleary thoughts could put together.

The other boy raised his hands defensively. "Aw come on, you don't mean that right?" He leaned in closer. "I'm just trying to help you out."

Yamato gave him a defeated look. "Unless you're a magical wizard with the power to change people's sexual orientations – or maybe even the power to give me amnesia – I think I'm beyond help."

The other boy looked amused and moved in towards the other with practiced finesse. "I'm afraid I left my magical potions at home. But I can promise a wonderful distraction from whatever's bothering you."

His face was closer than before and Yamato was drawn into the other's unwavering gaze. He was suddenly feeling warmer and it wasn't just the alcohol running through his veins.

 _Oh, fuck it. A distraction sounds pretty good right now. In fact, it might be the only good thing right now._

Not a stranger to flirting, Yamato turned his body so that his thighs brushed up against the others. He cocked his head to the side.

"Don't I at least get the name of my seducer?" _Right, like I'm going to remember it anyway._

The black-haired male sensed the shift in Yamato's demeanor and said smugly, "It's Etzuo. You probably will want to remember it for later tonight."

"Et-ssuo?" Yamato tried out the foreign name but his buzz was preventing him from pronouncing it correctly.

Etzuo chuckled. "You really are too cute." And with that, he pulled Yamato's chin closer and captured his lips.

Public displays of affection were hardly rare at Cloud 9 and no one really had an issue with them, seeing that it was one of the only places on campus where people were allowed to openly be themselves.

Yamato generally preferred something more private, but at the moment he was far too engrossed in the feeling of tongue against tongue and the hands roaming up and down his body to care. This was a natural feeling to Yamato, and it felt so right. Sure, it wasn't as thrilling as falling a hundred feet into a river in the digital world, and it wasn't with the right person, but it still felt pretty damn good.

He tangled his hands deeper into black hair and pushed their bodies closer together.

 _Through all the happy endorphins being transmitted into his brain_ , _though_ , _there was the smallest tugging of something else. The faintest inkling that there was something wrong in the air. Air. Maybe he just needed more air._ He opened his eyes and slowly broke contact for oxygen. As he was doing so, he caught the shape of a familiar silhouette in his periphery.

 _No, that can't be him. Not here._

Yamato suddenly jerked his head back and looked up at the doorway of the club to find none other than Taichi. His blue eyes locked onto Taichi's brown ones from all the way across the room.

Sobriety stuck Yamato like a bolt of lightning as he felt his blood turn as cold as ice. _How long has he been standing there?_

Taichi's face, on the other hand, was colored with shock. His eyes were wide and his mouth half-open. After a few long moments he appeared to collect himself. Yamato watched, frozen with dismay, as the brunet's features slowly shifted to disappointment and then to anger. Even though they'd gotten into _many_ fights over the years, the blond could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Taichi _this_ pissed.

Yamato pulled away as quickly as possible, not even caring when the other boy lost balance and stumbled off his chair.

 _He had to talk to him, fast._ "Taichi!"

But before Yamato could set one foot down in the direction of the doorway, Taichi turned around and walked straight out of the bar.

* * *

 **I'm sorry this took so long (and for the cliffhanger)! I've been really busy with work and that coupled with the fact that everything I write feels super inadequate is making this difficult to finish. But every review is really great motivation and I really appreciate it!**

 **I'm hoping to work in some Taichi POV in the next chapters J**


	3. The First Truth

Oh my, I'm so sorry this took so long! I honestly didn't think I was ever going to be able to finish this chapter, but the sweet reviews and the extra motivation from 50cyg (thank you!) certainly helped. If it's any consolation (it's probably not), this is longer than the other chapters!

* * *

 **Taichi's POV - earlier that night**

Taichi wound his way down his patented secret route to Yamato's dorm. He had calculated that it was at least three minutes faster than taking the main roads. Taichi loved getting to places in the fastest way possible in _general_ , but particularly so for Yamato's place (because it meant getting access to Yamato's cooking three minutes faster).

On this specific night, Taichi was walking more quickly than usual. He was also whistling loudly (and out-of-tune, based on the looks he was getting, but he didn't really care), which was a sure sign that he was excited about something.

He held in his hand two black tickets that had the name of a band, _Banished Lions_ , sketched into them in some artistic way. Taichi didn't really understand what was so great about the band, but he happened to know that Yamato was a huge fan of them (or at least he was guessing so, based on the three shirts and two posters he had of them).

He couldn't wait to see Yamato's reaction when he told him how the tickets managed to fall into his lap. Even better, the concert was on a Friday so it was a perfect idea for Fortune Friday. Plus, Carla already knew Taichi was busy on Fridays. _He's so going to owe me after this. Well, maybe we'll be even because last month he saved my ass by picking out the perfect gift for Hikari._

"Ya-ma-to~!" He called whimsically through Yamato's door when he finally got there.

He was expecting Yamato to appear at the door with a guitar in his hand and his bangs clipped up (his usual attire for a lazy weekend), so after about seven seconds with no response, he started getting impatient.

He knocked loudly on the door, before pulling out his phone. _Maybe he's in the shower or something…_

He was about to text the blond, when he suddenly remembered something important. Taichi smacked himself in the face. "Shit, I totally forgot he told me he was going to be busy. He told me yesterday he was going to visit his girlfriend tonight."

He sighed at the unfortunate change of events and cursed his temperamental memory before deciding to turn back. "I guess I'll just have to show him another time." Distracted as he was, he accidentally bumped into someone who was walking by in the hallway as he turned around.

"Sorry-" They both said at the same time and looked up at each other.

Taichi saw something akin to recognition flash in the other boy's eyes, but Taichi couldn't for the life of him remember meeting a guy with dark green hair anywhere.

The other boy spoke to him in a rather friendly tone and pointed at Yamato's door. "Looking for Yamato, by any chance?"

Taichi was a little taken aback. _This guy is either a mind reader or he is also friends with Yamato and just happens to live around here. Probably the second one, but you can never be too sure._

"Yeah I was actually… Are you a friend of his?"

"Yes, my name's Kyo. Nice to meet you!" He held out a hand to shake. "And you're Taichi Yagami if I'm not mistaken?"

Taichi didn't think it was actually possible for people's eyes to twinkle outside of novels, but he could've sworn Kyo's eyes just _twinkled_.

"Yes, that's me. How did you-"

"Anyone that's watched a uni soccer game would recognize you! Besides, Yamato sometimes mentions you."

"Ohh, that makes sense." Taichi nodded happily. _He better have mentioned me, I'm his best friend!_

"Anyway," Taichi explained, "If you're looking for him too, he's actually not there tonight. He said he was going to visit his girlfriend so he probably won't be back for a while."

Again, Taichi might have been going a little crazy but he thought he saw a nearly imperceptible smile tugging at the corners of Kyo's mouth. _Yamato's friend is a little weird._

"Oh okay. I wasn't actually looking for him, I just happen to live down the hall."

A few moments of silence passed between the two. Kyo could have kept walking down the hallway but he appeared more interested in standing here with Taichi. It wasn't necessarily awkward, but Taichi nonetheless felt the need to find a topic to fill the void.

"Yeah, actually," Taichi started animatedly, holding up the tickets in his hand. "I just managed to score these tickets to a band he likes so I _really_ wanted to tell him about them in person! I'm sure he's going to be so psyched."

Kyo's eyes softened as he looked at Taichi's glowing face, and he suddenly looked thoughtful.

"You know," Kyo started somewhat reluctantly. "I think he told me where he was going if you wanted to stop by to show him." He checked through his phone for a moment. "Yeah, I think he said he was going to be at Cloud 9."

"Cloud 9? Wait... Isn't that a gay bar? Are you sure?" Taichi questioned incredulously.

Kyo's pleasant demeanor changed drastically. "Is there something wrong with that?" He said sharply.

Taichi raised his hands defensively. "Oh, no, I didn't mean that there was anything wrong with gay bars in general! I was just wondering why he would take his girlfriend to a gay bar? Well I guess there are a lot of girls that like going to gay bars… but not usually as a date spot…" Taichi trailed off. _Shit, I must have offended him._

But Kyo visibly relaxed at his explanation. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. You're right… that would be a weird date spot. But I'm sure that's the place he said." Kyo seemed like he was choosing his words carefully. "Maybe when you find him you can talk some sense into him."

"Yeah, I might have to save the date. He can be a bit clueless when it comes to these kinds of things," Taichi commented and they both laughed. "Anyway, thanks for the heads up. See you around!"

Cloud 9 was just a short bus ride away, and although Taichi didn't generally frequent that area of campus he was still familiar with how to get there. He decided it might be better to let Yamato know he was coming, so he shot him a quick text. " _Hey, I've got a surprise for you! So, I hope you don't mind me crashing your date for a bit"_

He took the fact that he didn't receive a response from Yamato to be a sign that the date was going well.

He stood in line outside the building briefly, hearing the muffled sounds of louder music being played inside. When he got to the bouncer he flashed his ID at the bouncer who then directed him to a cashier to pay the entrance cover.

He had heard before that drinks were generally cheaper at gay bars, so even though they charged for entering it was still worth it. Taichi peered into the bar (actually it looked more like a club) as he fished out a 5 dollar bill and handed it to the cashier.

His first thought was, _wow,_ there were some flexible people dancing in here which was followed closely by the realization that it would be very difficult to find anyone in here.

But he'd only taken a step forward into the bar when a flash of blond from the front of the bar caught his attention.

This blond guy had long legs and a frame that almost looked like Yamato's.

 _But it couldn't be Yamato._

It couldn't be Yamato because he wasn't with a girl. It also couldn't be Yamato because Taichi was almost certain that this blond was flirting with the black-haired male beside him. _Which couldn't be Yamato._

Taichi watched with mounting curiosity as the Yamato doppelganger leaned drunkenly toward the other man, when suddenly the two were attached to each other, in the midst of the steamiest make-out session Taichi had ever seen in public.

Unable to tear himself away from the sight, Taichi's eyes recognized a familiar jawline (though it was half-obstructed by the other's face), familiar hands that were gripping tightly onto black hair, and familiar pale skin that appeared to glow under the lights of the club.

Unfortunately, his brain didn't seem to be able to catch up with the sight that was clearly spelled out in front of him.

 _I need to find the real Yamato. Why can't I move?_

Taichi was still rooted to the same spot when suddenly the blond jerked away from the kiss. Taichi suddenly wanted nothing more than to run away, as if he had seen something he wasn't supposed to. But his legs refused to cooperate, and the blond had turned around to look at him. Taichi's pulse quickened.

There was no room for doubt. _That is definitely Yamato. No one else has eyes like that._

The room froze and his brain went blank.

 _Why would he-?_ Taichi tried to make sense of the unfolding scene. After a few failed attempts of doing so, he settled on the one clear thought on his head: _I need to get out of here_.

In a desperate effort, he finally willed his legs to move him out of the bar. The second his feet hit the pavement outside, he _ran_.

 **Yamato's POV**

"Shit!" Yamato quickly stood up only to stumble back down into his seat in horror as his brain went into overdrive. _Oh shit, oh shit, SHIT. What had Taichi, of all people, been doing here?_ Taichi's shocked expression flashed in his head again. _What was he thinking now? Would he even want to look at me right now?_

"What's going on?" The disgruntled voice of Etzuo to his side snapped Yamato out of his shock.

Yamato brought a hand over his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. _What the hell am I still doing here? I need to talk to him._ He slapped a twenty onto the bar top and proceeded to make his way out of the bar as fast as he could, almost running into several people in the process.

The cool air outside did little to calm Yamato's wildly beating heart, though it did clear any remnants of his buzz. He searched frantically from one side of the street to the other for a glimpse of the brown-haired boy.

 _Shit, how did he disappear?_

Yamato's thoughts scampered in every direction. How fitting it was that the one person he'd been trying to keep it a secret from, Taichi, would be the first one to find out. How was it that years of lying could be completely undone with a single moment? Did that mean that years of friendship could also be undone that quickly?

Consumed by his own despair, Yamato hardly realized as his legs subconsciously led him to the entrance of a park. Caniti Park was a campus playground that Yamato and Taichi had frequented often when they first got to university. They no longer visited together (this was largely Yamato's fault), but it was still one of Yamato's favorite places to relax.

He took a few steps into the park before he felt someone else's presence. A few moments later he caught sight of Taichi sitting on the bench in the corner. _Apparently he wasn't the only one who came here to unwind._

One glance at Taichi's face, including the fading bruises around his eye, sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through Yamato. _He got that black eye protecting your reputation, you idiot, and now he found out that you were a fag all along._

Every fiber in his body was pulling him in the opposite direction, shouting at him to run away from what would likely be an inevitable heartbreak, but he strengthened his resolve and took another step forward. _I can't keep running away from this. It's not fair to Taichi._

Even in his terror-stricken state, Yamato was able to appreciate how far Taichi had come from when they were younger at controlling his emotions. An innocent passerby may have thought that Taichi was just relaxing on the bench. Unfortunately, Yamato knew better. Taichi's jaw was pulled tight. His eyebrows were slightly creased. Emotion was rippling just below the muscles that stretched taut over his skin.

Too quickly Yamato had already reached Taichi.

"Taichi, I, I mean, we need to-"

All the courage Yamato had mustered up shriveled away as Taichi looked up at him with darkened eyes and an emotionless face.

"What are you doing here?" The voice that came out was cold, so cold Yamato could barely associate it with the beautiful mouth it emerged from.

The air between Taichi and Yamato was so thick that Yamato was struggling to breathe properly.

"Taichi, I'm… here because we need to talk."

Taichi stared off to the side with a distant look in his eyes. "Sorry for interrupting you earlier."

Neither of them were moving, but Yamato felt as if Taichi was slipping farther and farther away from him every second.

 _Why was Taichi apologizing?! I'm the one who should be apologizing!_

Before Yamato could say anything, Taichi continued talking in that foreign voice. "I had something to show you, but it probably wasn't even important anyway." Taichi's hands clenched tighter around what appeared to be two black objects crumpled in his fists.

 _Something was extremely wrong._ This wasn't normal for Taichi fights. Yamato didn't know what he had expected instead from the other, but this sure as hell wasn't it. Taichi was the type of person to let his anger out immediately, not passively. Somehow, Taichi's blunted reaction hurt even worse than his explosive anger.

If he was being honest, it was the fact that he couldn't read Taichi that unnerved him more than anything else. He had always been able to read Taichi's every movement in the past. Was it possible that the worst-case scenario really was true, and things between him and Taichi had been irreparably damaged? Would this be how Taichi would act towards him forever?

Yamato, suddenly irrationally filled with rage, ran up to the other. "Cut the bullshit, Taichi!" He grabbed the front of Taichi's shirt and shook him to his feet. "Just spit it out already if you hate me! Why are you acting like we barely know each other? Why won't you tell me how you feel? Think I can't handle it?"

There was another second of painstaking silence before Taichi finally snapped.

" _I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT, THAT'S WHY!"_ Taichi shouted with enough ferocity that Yamato automatically let go of his shirt. His voice was now filled with raw emotion. "You're annoyed by not knowing how _I_ feel? That should be my line!"

Yamato's next words caught in his throat as his stomach churned with guilt.

Taichi turned away and pulled at his own hair with a sort of desperate frustration. " _Why does some green-haired stranger know more about MY best friend than me?"_ He looked back into Yamato's eyes with that same ferocity. "Since when did I become the last person you could talk to?"

He had known that Taichi was upset. But seeing Taichi's pained expression and knowing that he had caused it enveloped Yamato in a suffocating feeling he couldn't quite describe.

"That's not it, I was just worried that-"

Taichi cut him off, his voice escalating with every word. "If you think for _one_ second that I'm mad about you being gay or bi or _whatever_ , you're dead wrong. And I honestly can't believe- that after all we've been through- that you would think I would be."

Yamato struggled to find the words that could explain himself. _Of course I didn't think that._ Deep down, Yamato knew Taichi would never be the kind of person that would judge any of his friends for something like that. That was one of the many things he loved about him. "I didn't think you'd be mad. I just didn't want to ruin our relationship. You matter so much to me-"

 _"_ _If that's what you really think, you've got some way of showing it."_ Taichi bit out as he advanced towards Yamato. "Don't think I haven't noticed. You're always distancing yourself from me." Yamato flinched at the accusation. Taichi's eyes were burning into him. They were filled with so many emotions, but Yamato could easily pick them out. _Hurt._ _Betrayal. Frustration._ "You make it impossible to get to know the real you. It's been like this ever since we were kids. I just can't believe you wouldn't trust me with _this_. Have you ever even trusted me?"

Yamato never imagined that his actions were having such a negative impact on Taichi. _Have I been the clueless one all this time?_

"I do trust you Taichi! Of course I've always trusted you! It's just… it's not as if you could understand how it feels! You grew up in a perfect home with two perfect parents, and all you have to do is walk into a room and everyone loves you! Sometimes it feels like the fact that you're even friends with someone as _imperfect_ as me is some kind of fluke!"

Taichi finally did punch him. Yamato actually found the physical sting of it to be a welcome distraction to the mounting emotional pain that he was unable to release.

"Do you even hear yourself, Yamato? Do you really think I've always had everything perfect? You know better than anyone else that that's bullshit! I'm not a perfect leader. I can't always handle the pressure. That's why I lean on you. And I worry all the time –about not being good enough, and about you guys. Did you ever stop to wonder how worried I was about you?"

The guilt was overwhelming. "I know that! " Yamato exclaimed as it threatened to overcome him. "Do you think I _wanted_ to keep this from you? I lied _because_ I didn't want you to worry. Do you think I like being not normal?" Tears made their way down his face without his consent and he didn't even bother to wipe them away. "I didn't ask to be _this way_ , this weird!"

Yamato felt drained as the words left him. He didn't want to fight with Taichi anymore.

Taichi raised his hand toward Yamato once more and Yamato braced himself to be decked again. But before he knew it, he was being pulled forward into a light embrace.

Yamato felt his nerves relax instantaneously, as if there was something tranquilizing about the feeling of Taichi's warmth. Taichi had a strange way of always being able to recognize when Yamato was at his breaking point.

When Taichi began talking again, it was in a much softer tone. "Yamato, I don't think you're weird." Taichi said gently. "Please don't call yourself weird." He pulled away from Yamato and gripped him firmly by the shoulders, trying to etch the words into Yamato's conscience. "There's nothing wrong with you."

Yamato privately disagreed with him. There were a number of things wrong with him. For example, how empty he felt when Taichi pulled away and how he wanted nothing more than to demand that Taichi hold him again and never let go. But even worse than that… "I've been an impossibly shitty friend to you, Taichi. You should hate me for this."

"Yama, I don't hate you! Just, _god damn_ -" Yamato could see annoyance flare up in Taichi's face again, before he pinched the bridge of his nose to calm down. "-can you _please_ stop hiding things from me?

Yamato felt compelled to nod, even knowing that there was no way he could ever tell Taichi the complete truth.

"That's all I was asking! It really hurts me to see you shut yourself away." The strain in his voice told Yamato it was true.

"Taichi…" Yamato realized he sounded pathetic, but he needed to _hear it_. "Even after this… Does that mean you still want to be friends?"

Taichi looked appalled at the question. "Of course, you idiot. You could never get rid of me that easily." His anger had dispersed as quickly as it had appeared. The brunet seemed incapable of holding a grudge, for which Yamato was eternally grateful.

Yamato gave him a watery smile. His body, which had been running on a sole energy source of anxiety mixed with fear, finally relaxed after he heard Taichi's words. He collapsed into the grass.

Taichi looked a little concerned as he sat next to Yamato with a soft _plop_.

"You okay?"

"I'm okay… I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have met you, Taichi." Yamato replied honestly.

Yamato was surprised when Taichi actually looked flustered. But he recovered quickly.

"Yes, you definitely are. But really… I think we're both lucky to have each other." Yamato's heartbeat sped up. Taichi probably didn't even realize how much his words affected Yamato.

Before they knew it, the two were just lying on their backs in the grass with their eyes closed. _Just like the good old days._

Taichi voiced out loud what Yamato had been thinking. "Lying here like this… It feels like we're not that different from when we were kids, right?"

 _Not that different… except for my massive crush on you. But who knows, that probably existed back then too._ "Yeah, you still punch like a kid." Yamato replied jokingly, reaching up to touch the area where Taichi had hit him. "Do you not gain any upper body strength playing soccer?"

He heard Taichi snort to the left of him. "You're just lucky I was holding back. Since now I know I'll have not only an army of fangirls but also fanboys and ex-boyfriends chasing me down if I do anything to your face."

Yamato laughed out of relief. If Taichi could casually joke about his sexuality, he probably couldn't be that upset.

"So…" Taichi's voice took on a more serious tone. _Maybe he had spoken too soon._ "How long have you known about, uh, the liking guys thing?"

Yamato panicked at first, forgetting that his cover had already been blown earlier. _Calm down, Yamato. He has no way of knowing that you like him. Just don't act awkward._

"I mean it's not like it's a big deal," Taichi added quickly, possibly sensing Yamato's discomfort. "I was just wondering."

Yamato exhaled. "Deep inside, I've probably known about it for a long time. Maybe since high school. I think I started to realize when I was with Sora."

Yamato expected a snarky comment from Taichi about this and looked over at him but Taichi just nodded, his expression devoid of any judgment.

"But it took me a while to really admit it to myself." With every word he spoke, Yamato actually felt himself getting lighter. It had been so long since he had been able to just be himself. "It wasn't until last year that I completely accepted that it was the way I was, and then I started to meet other people just like me and things started making sense."

Taichi sighed. "Now I feel guilty for always trying to set you up with girls. I really wish you just told me Yamato. Did you even tell anyone?"

"Out of the Chosen… no."

"Not even Takeru?"

"Nope, not even him." Taichi appeared to lighten up a little at that, presumably because he was the first one to know out of their friends. "You remember how your teammates reacted right? It's not exactly something I wanted everyone to find out about. The only people who really know are other people in the gay community."

Yamato heard rustling and when he peeked one of his eyes open he saw Taichi was sitting up, looking at him intently.

"So was that black-haired guy back at Cloud 9 your boyfriend? Won't he be looking for you?" Taichi sounded nonchalant, but there was an unquestionable burning curiosity in his eyes.

Yamato's face turned bright red as he remembered the rather compromising situation he had been in when Taichi caught him. It was even more embarrassing that he barely even knew the guy. A lie came to Yamato's lips automatically, but he fought it away.

"He wasn't my boyfriend… To tell you the truth, I've never even met him before tonight."

Taichi gave him a disbelieving look that clearly said _"that's not what it looked like."_

Yamato just folded his arms up under his head. "What? It's true! I mean, it probably also happened because I had a little too much to drink." _Which was because of you, but of course I can't tell you that._

"I don't like it," Taichi said shortly. He crossed his arms across his chest. "You didn't even know who he was!"

 _Was Taichi pouting? It sounded like he was pouting._ Yamato had to force his eyes shut because he surely wouldn't be able to handle that face. It should be illegal to be that adorable.

Instead he said pointedly, "Taichi, it's not any different from when you pick up a random cute girl at a bar. Gay people are allowed to have sex too."

Apparently that thought hadn't crossed Taichi's mind because it was his turn to become bright red. It was a sight Yamato hadn't seen before, and he found he rather enjoyed it.

"I guess that's true…" Taichi opened his mouth and closed it again, apparently trying to reconcile things in his head. He finally let out a little huff. "I know this is probably bigoted of me, but it just feels like you should be more careful since it's a guy. He could have been taking advantage of you!"

"That's not fair, and you know it." Taichi at least had the decency to look embarrassed when Yamato looked up at him. "That guy wasn't dangerous. If anything, he was definitely less harmful than that one crazy girl you brought home who stole two pairs of your underwear and a pair of mine before she left."

Taichi sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Okay, you got me there. I'm sorry… It's just a lot to swallow at one time, you know." Taichi was being his completely honest and, as usual, oblivious self. If only Yamato's mind was as innocent.

Yamato propped himself up on one elbow and looked at Taichi. He still looked slightly put out. _I wonder what he's thinking about._

"You're not really okay with me being like this are you?" Yamato questioned. It may have been too much to expect Taichi to be completely okay with Yamato's sexuality instantaneously. It was probably one thing to be okay with people being gay, in general, but a totally different thing to find out your best friend of many years was gay and having it sprung upon you in person.

"It's okay if you're not used to it." Yamato added understandingly.

But Taichi fervently denied Yamato's claim. "I'm _totally_ okay with it! In fact, to prove to you just how okay I am with it, I'm coming with you next time you go to a gay bar."

"Taichi you don't have to do-"

"No, I want to, really!"

"Why would you want to?"

"Well this whole time you've been going to straight bars with me when you've been gay and I didn't even know it! So it's only fair that I accompany you to a gay bar! Besides, it's not like it matters to me what kind of bar it is as long as they serve drinks."

Yamato sighed and gave in. Taichi was almost impossible to argue with when he fixated on something, and Yamato had learned long ago to pick his battles. Also, he still felt guilty (and probably would for a very long time) about hurting Taichi. "Alright, I'll let you know the next time I go."

Taichi glanced over at Yamato. "You're not lying to me are you?"

Yamato rolled his eyes, but recognized that it was a fair question given his track record. "I'm not lying, Taichi."

"Good." Taichi flashed that brilliant smile of his and it made Yamato's heart skip a beat.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

It had been two days since Saturday night and Yamato was on his way to get lunch with Taichi, which was a good indication that Yamato's worst fears had _not_ come true and he and Taichi were still as close as ever. They may actually have been closer than ever because Yamato had finally lowered his guard around the other.

As he got closer to the restaurant, Yamato's eyes narrowed as he spotted a different friend of his.

Yamato walked up to an unsuspecting Kyo and punched him straight in the gut. Not hard enough to send him to the hospital (which is what he really wanted to do), but hard enough to make a point. "You bastard! What was the big idea telling Taichi where I was that night?"

Kyo rubbed his stomach ruefully. "I'm sorry! I texted you right after to give you a heads up, but I didn't know you'd be too busy sticking your tongue down another guy's throat to check your phone! I thought maybe it would be an easy way to get the ball rolling with letting him know who you really were."

"Are you seriously crazy? That was probably the _worst_ way to tell him who I really was!"

"Like I said, I thought you would just be hanging out there, not making out with someone. Also," Kyo said, more seriously than Yamato had ever seen him before. "I had to say something. You should've seen the way he talks about you Yamato. There's no way that someone like that would have hated you. In fact, I have a hard time believing someone like that _doesn't_ like you."

"Not this again, Kyo-"

"And besides that, I've seen the way you've been beating yourself up about having to lie to him." Kyo continued. "And I'm also the one who has to put up with seeing you sleep around endlessly, when I know you're really just doing it to fill the emptiness inside of you. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I really did it because I cared about you."

It hit Yamato at that moment that he may have been extremely ignorant of all the people in his life who cared about him and wanted to help him. Thinking about it more, he did have a lot to appreciate.

"Well," Kyo added, "It was mostly that, but also I couldn't really help myself. You know, he's really got the cutest eyes when he's excited."

Yamato forgot the part about being appreciative and punched Kyo in the shoulder. "Don't you dare get any ideas!"

"I was kidding! Well, sort of."

Yamato glared at him, but before he could threaten him again he caught a glimpse of a familiar brown mass of hair down the street and promptly shoved Kyo into the nearest doorway, which happened to be a bathroom.

"Hey, what are you-"

"You stay in there!"

Yamato turned around to see Taichi waving at him.

"Hey Taichi!"

"Hey, weren't you just with your green-haired friend?"

"No, I mean yeah, he -um- had to go to the bathroom. Anyway, we should probably get going to lunch… I'm starving!"

Taichi hesitated and pointed towards the bathroom. "Er, shouldn't we wait for your friend?"

"No, that's okay, he'll be fine." Yamato kept walking down the street.

"If you say so…" Taichi followed after Yamato, understandably confused about the whole situation.

They took seats across from each other in Taichi's favorite ramen place. Yamato's pocket was vibrating insistently, so he opened up his phone to check his texts.

Kyo: _What the hell was that about?_

Yamato wasted no time in typing out a reply.

Yamato: " _You're staying away from him. Also, I just decided that I still haven't forgiven you for blowing my cover."_

Kyo: _:(_ _You just want alone time with Taichi~_

Yamato: _Shut. Up._

When Yamato looked up again, Taichi was in deep thought looking at him, or past him, he wasn't quite sure.

"Did you already pick out what you're getting?" Yamato's voice startled Taichi a bit, who then looked down at the menu like he hadn't even seen it there.

"Haven't looked… but I'll probably get what I always get."

Yamato shook his head. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that variety is the spice of life?"

Taichi grinned. "What can I say? I know what I like." Yamato could've sworn his voice dropped an octave when he said the second half. _God, he has no idea how sexy he is_.

Yamato bit his lip as he distracted himself with the menu before he gave himself away. If he had been looking up, he would've seen the way Taichi's eyes were immediately drawn to the action.

After they both gave their orders to the waitress, they chatted for a while about classes and about how a few of the other Chosen were actually planning on paying them a visit soon.

When the food finally arrived, Yamato decided that now was as good of a time as ever to broach the subject. He'd made a promise to be truthful, after all.

"Are you free Thursday night?" Yamato inquired. His stomach lurched nervously when he thought about how much it sounded like he was asking Taichi on a date.

Taichi stopped slurping on his ramen and looked thoughtful. "Hm, I think Carla said she was busy that night. I probably won't be doing anything. Why?"

"Well, there's this gay bar that I usually go to and they're having half-off taco and tequila night on Thursday. I thought maybe you'd want-"

"I'm totally coming with." Taichi interrupted excitedly.

Yamato tried to talk him out of it. He didn't want Taichi coming just because he felt like he had to. "You don't really have to come if you don't want to. I mean, sometimes those nights attract a more straight crowd, but I don't know if there will be many girls."

"I don't care about that. Besides, there are _tacos_." Taichi's eyes shone brightly and Yamato knew it was a lost cause.

"Alright, just try not to embarrass me."

Taichi just smiled cheekily. "I can't guarantee anything, Yamato."

* * *

 _Ooo, I wonder what Taichi is thinking?_ I'm a bit excited for the next few chapters, that is once I can finally overcome enough writer's block to get them finished.

 **In the meantime, please let me know what you think! I hope no one hates me for torturing the characters so (it's only out of love for these two)**


	4. The First Denial

Yay – back with another chapter (sorry for taking so long!). Also, a warning in advance for it being all over the place and because I just realized I made them out to be raging alcoholics (but they _are_ college students so I suppose it's fairly reasonable). **  
**

* * *

As he glanced at the clock that read nearly six o' clock, Taichi exhaled slowly.

He could think of only one plausible explanation for the butterflies that were currently uncomfortably flittering around in his stomach, and that explanation was hunger. After all, he hadn't eaten for at least 5 hours! (Okay, he'd had two cookies an hour ago, but those barely counted.)

As he gulped down some water, he pointedly ignored the Hikari-like voice in his head that reminded him that butterflies in his stomach generally pointed to nervousness, not hunger. That couldn't be true. After all, Taichi didn't really get nervous, unless it was before a major soccer game or if he was in a hospital (he hated hospitals).

And why would he be _nervous_ about _this_ anyway? He was going to be doing some of his favorite things: drinking, eating tacos, and hanging out with Yamato.

Sure, these events happened to be occurring at a gay bar, but why did that matter? It's not like he was some kind of homophobe. He hesitated slightly while thinking the last word.

For maybe the fiftieth time this week, an image of Yamato liplocked rather passionately with another guy flashed into Taichi's head and his insides squirmed uneasily.

 _"If you're not a homophobe,"_ a voice sneered at him, _"then why does that sight bother you so much?"_

Taichi barely resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall behind him in an effort to get back at the voice. After all, it's not like the sight _bothered_ him, per se, it was just… a little unusual- or rather, he hadn't see that before, or specifically… imagined Yamato that way, but-

"Ouch!" He groaned as he accidentally stubbed his toe turning a corner too quickly.

 _Get it together, Taichi!_ He mentally scolded himself while grabbing his shoes _. Yamato's your friend, your best friend, for almost as long as you can remember. Whether he likes guys or not doesn't affect that. You're not the kind of person who would judge someone for that._

He still couldn't figure out exactly why Yamato had tried so desperately to hide this all from him. But, something had changed in their friendship two years ago, and no matter how persistent Taichi had been he could never repair it. Now, ever since he had found out Yamato's secret, he could sense that Yamato was slowly lowering the walls around him again and, _stupid butterflies be damned,_ he was determined not to screw it up this time.

Plus, if Yamato thought Taichi was uncomfortable being around him ( _which he wasn't!)_ because he was gay, he would definitely push Taichi away again. So, as Taichi walked out of his apartment, he shoved any and all foreign feelings to the farthest recesses of his mind, and focused on enjoying a night out with his best friend.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Yamato had just brushed his hair for the seventh time and checked whether he had left the fridge open four times, even though he hadn't used it all day.

Sure, he could have said that he wasn't nervous at all. _But he wasn't supposed to lie anymore, right?_

Finally deciding he had spent enough time looking in the mirror, he headed outside to meet up with Taichi, reminding himself for the final time that this was nothing like a date.

Yamato didn't really date. He'd tried, of course, at first. One-night stands had sometimes turned into brunch dates or occasionally he'd responded to a phone number he'd been given. But away from the dim lights of the club and the guise provided by alcohol, it would become painfully obvious after a single conversation that every guy paled in comparison to what he really wanted.

They were either not funny enough, not sweet enough, or just flat-out disinterested in Yamato for who he really was. Sometimes they were none of these things, but Yamato just couldn't enjoy himself anyway. How could anyone else really compare when even stupid things like getting a simple text from Taichi or having a class together could make Yamato's entire day?

 _"You're royally screwed, you know that? You're going to be single forever if this keeps up."_ Kyo had told him once when he mentioned his predicament.

So Yamato decided he would just stick to sex, where the expectations were consistent, the commitment was minimal, and the returns were pretty satisfactory.

 _"I'm just spending time with my really nice, really straight, best friend. The only difference now is that he knows that I'm gay."_ Yamato repeated forcefully, probably looking like a crazy person as he shook his head while he walked. Any way you viewed it, this was just two friends getting food and drinks together. At best, it was a celebratory "coming out" treat for Yamato from Taichi.

They had made plans to meet up outside a café called _Sugaland_ before heading over to the taco place, _Estella's_ , that was on another side of campus and not very far from Cloud 9. Yamato was hoping to take a route that wouldn't pass Cloud 9 as he didn't particularly want memories of that night resurfacing.

Yamato tugged his sleeve back to look at his watch. He'd gotten there early. Fortunately for him, Taichi had too and was waving to him from across the street.

He couldn't help but give Taichi a once-over as he crossed the street, privately deciding that teal was a really good color on Taichi. Like pretty much every other color. _Ugh, I'm incorrigible._

"How's Carla doing?" Yamato asked after they greeted each other and started walking, partly to be friendly and mostly to remind himself to stop staring.

"She's good! Haven't seen her as much lately since she's been at other schools for competitions."

"Oh yeah, she's an ice-skater right?"

"Yeah, she's super good too. We went to an ice-skating rink on one of our dates and I totally embarrassed myself."

Yamato laughed, imagining Taichi wiping out the moment he stepped onto the rink (which, admittedly, was pretty much the exact scene that occurred).

"I think you would be good at it though." Taichi said thoughtfully. "You move a lot more gracefully than me."

"Yeah, well, that's not saying a lot." Yamato said, shrugging off a blush. "Probably two out of every three toddlers move more gracefully than you."

"Hey now, coach says I am the _epitome_ of grace on the soccer field."

Yamato bit his tongue before he could voice his wholehearted agreement with coach. Taichi on the field was _beautiful_ , after all. Instead, he just rolled his eyes, rattled off a comment about Taichi's ego, and pointed down the street.

"Almost there, it's just at the end of this street."

"Great, I am _so_ ready for tacos and tequila!" Taichi said excitedly, his hand over his stomach.

XxXxXxXxXxX

The pair entered the part-restaurant/part-bar, immediately greeted by an exciting atmosphere and loud latin music. They took a seat at a small table near the bar.

"Hey Yamato!" The bartender gestured kindly to him. "I'm guessing you'll get your usual?"

"Sure, and can I get a menu for my friend? He hasn't been here before."

The bartender nodded and walked off.

Taichi was looking at him in a somewhat impressed way. "People know you pretty well around here, huh?"

"Like I said, I come here pretty regularly. The food is actually surprisingly good."

"So this is what you were doing instead of working out with me?" Taichi pouted slightly. Before Yamato had a chance to feel guilty and explain himself, though, Taichi started laughing. "I'm just joking! This seems like more fun anyway."

Part of Yamato's brain was still processing the current situation. A month ago, this would have been completely forbidden territory. A part of him was elated just for the fact that he could mostly be himself around Taichi again, but another (larger) part of him couldn't help but run through all the terrible ways this could go.

As if to prove the latter part of him right, Yamato felt an arm drape over his shoulders and a loud voice say, "Hey Yamato!"

Yamato recognized the voice and turned to greet the older student. "Hey there, Jayce."

"Sooo, care to introduce me to your friend?" The subtle look in the other male's eyes and the suggestive inflection of his tone was enough to set Yamato on edge.

Taichi who overheard the question started saying, "Hi, I'm Taichi-" before Yamato cut him off.

"It's no use, Jayce." Yamato forced himself to say calmly, before Jayce could get any ideas. "He's just a straight guy that I happened to drag here."

"Yep," Taichi smiled lightheartedly. "Just a straight guy who likes tacos." Yamato winced internally. _Was he trying to look so damn cute?_

"Aw, that's such a shame..." Jayce looked over at Yamato unhappily. "He's totally my type too."

Yamato tried his best not to look annoyed. _You've met him for all of 2 seconds and he's already your type? Get in line, man._

Yamato then glanced at Taichi, who fortunately looked more amused than uncomfortable, before hurriedly changing the subject. "Isn't that what you said about the last guy, er, Frank or Franz or whatever? What happened to him?"

'Frank or Franz or whatever' seemed to hit a sore spot, as Jayce rambled on for nearly an hour about a break-up story that had apparently involved McDonald's, several geese, and prison time.

By the time he had finished, both Yamato and Taichi's food had arrived and a few other friends of Yamato had also joined their party. One by one, Yamato had introduced them all to Taichi, taking extra time to emphasize to the ones who were gay that Taichi was straight (and therefore, off-limits).

"Well, I think I know what a story like that calls for…" Taichi was telling Jayce empathetically when Yamato tuned back in. He pointed to the bartender. "A round of tequila shots, please!"

There was a round of enthusiastic agreement and cheering while Yamato resisted the urge to roll his eyes. There was no group of people that Taichi couldn't get along with, particularly with the help of alcohol. (Never mind that this was already their third round of shots.)

Regardless, he couldn't help but smile along with Taichi as he grabbed a lime and knocked back the fiery liquid. He was also extremely thankful that tomorrow was Friday, and neither of them had classes.

The night continued to progress, to Yamato's amazement, fairly _normally_. After some time, the conversation had transitioned into some sort of eating competition.

"Yeah, well, I bet I can eat 8 tacos!" Taichi exclaimed loudly to a small crowd at one point, causing Yamato to snort into his drink. "Only 4 to go!"

"Channeling your inner Agumon, huh?" Yamato said, eyebrow quirked. Remembering that they weren't technically supposed to talk about their Digimon, he scanned their surroundings quickly but fortunately everyone was engrossed in their own conversations.

"Who do you think Agumon gets it from?" Taichi smirked, puffing out his chest slightly.

"I don't know if that's something you should be so proud of…"

Taichi laughed, but after a moment his smile started to fade.

Concern immediately colored Yamato's features. "What's wrong?"

"Ah.. it's nothing really. I just… I miss him a lot, you know? The others too."

 _That was just like Taichi_. Yamato smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, I do too."

Taichi looked up at him. "I'm really glad that we've still got each other, at least." Yamato felt a wave of warmth wash over him as Taichi's eyes burned into Yamato's with their typical intensity.

"I… am too." _God dammit, do you not know any other words Yamato?_

Before Yamato could improve upon his response, however, their moment was interrupted by a short sophomore with curly hair and dimples grabbing onto Taichi's arm with a slight wobble.

"Hey Taichi, the kitchen just closed so you technically lost your bet!"

Taichi groaned. "Hey, that's not fair!" He muttered, "I so could have done it too…"

The dimpled boy ignored Taichi's complaints and said cheekily, "Don't worry, we've got just the punishment for your loss!" He pointed to Yamato as an afterthought. "And we'll be needing you too. Could you be on guitar? We're doing live latin music!"

Before the two had a chance to say anything, the boy dragged Taichi to the small stage in the corner of the room before dressing him with a sombrero and a pair of red and green maraca shakers.

Yamato, who had also walked over to the stage, had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud at Taichi's dismayed expression.

"Actually this is going to be really embarrassing…" Taichi said, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his index finger. "I have no sense of rhythm- you can ask Yamato."

Yamato thought back to freshman year when Taichi had begged Yamato to teach him how to play the guitar "because it was the ultimate chick magnet". The first lesson had led to two broken guitar strings, a bruised temple, and a promise that Yamato would never attempt to teach Taichi music again.

Yamato just nodded and said bluntly, "It's true, guys. He's really bad."

Taichi pouted in the background. "Aw Yama, did you have to say it so mean?"

"Yes." Yamato said simply.

The dimpled boy just laughed. "Oh don't worry, it doesn't take any rhythm for those things. You just shake them around." He added slyly, "I heard it helps to stay on beat if you shake your butt too while you're at it." His words were met with laughs from those in the vicinity, a slight redness on Taichi's face, and a sharp 'Oi, stop that!' from Yamato.

After a bit of live music which somehow transformed into several rounds of makeshift karaoke, the rest of the night had passed, somehow without mishap. Honestly, it was so fun it almost had Yamato regretting never telling Taichi earlier.

Had he overestimated how risky this would be? Taichi didn't seem to be any closer to suspecting that Yamato might have a crush on him, though that may just be because he was sufficiently distracted by all the other new things.

"Be sure to come back for next week's Taco Thursday night!" they heard the bartender call after them as they left.

"That wasn't so bad, huh?" Yamato laughed carefreely, the alcohol affecting him more than he had expected.

"Not bad at all. And here I was expecting to catch gay cooties…" Taichi said sarcastically. "I really don't know what you were so worried about."

"Of course I'd be worried!" Yamato feigned an extreme look of concern. "You know, Taichi… gay cooties are…" Yamato leaned in slightly and lowered his voice, " _incurable_."

Taichi just raised his eyebrows in response, probably silently questioning Yamato's state of mind.

Yamato blinked. "Yeah, I have no idea why I just whispered that. Blame the tequila."

"Yep, I think it's time to sleep. Thanks for inviting me along tonight." Taichi paused to flash him a smile bright enough to see through the darkness, before waving good night.

* * *

Taichi faced his reflection in the mirror and groaned as he realized, for the third time, that his silk black tie hung too far over his belt. Putting on a tie was never particularly enjoyable for Taichi, and constantly getting lost in his own thoughts only made the task that much more difficult.

Taichi grumbled as he untied the knot. Why again did he have to promise Yamato that he would dress up tonight? _Oh right, because he made_ those _eyes_ _at me._

It was Saturday night. It had now been exactly 3 weeks since Taichi had walked in on Yamato at Cloud 9 and incidentally discovered that his current best friend (who half the female population fawned over) was actually into guys.

It had been approximately two weeks since taco night which had been followed by several similar events, at straight and gay bars. At each one, Taichi and Yamato had a great time, and never strayed too far or went home without the other, similar to Fortune Fridays.

Pretty much, things seemed to have almost instantaneously returned back to _normal_ between them. At least, that's what the situation might have looked like to an outsider.

Taichi Yagami, however, would beg to differ.

 _Normal, my ass. Nothing_ _was normal!_ He gritted his teeth as he pulled the material around his neck tight once more. The last three weeks had been… confusing, if he were to put it mildly. Sure, some of it had been really fun, but other parts could only have been described as excruciating.

Admitting that something wasn't normal was the easy part, unfortunately. Trying to figure out the exact reason for this was where Taichi was repeatedly hitting a wall.

At first, Taichi had attempted to rationalize his unusual behavior by saying that he wasn't used to seeing two guys together, as if that was what bothered him about the whole Yamato situation. This theory was quickly debunked when he started actually going to gay bars and finding he had no problems with other same-sex couples. Even when hit on by guys, his own reaction had always been more flattered than disturbed.

Then, Taichi had tried to associate the difference with the fact that they were now going to gay bars, which somehow caused Yamato to act differently which in turn caused Taichi to somehow perceive Yamato weirdly.

To avoid this issue, he had convinced Yamato yesterday that he just wanted to stay in and hang out, hoping desperately that that would cause things to truly go back to normal. But then, _that_ had happened.

xXxXxXxX (flashback)

They had ended up staying at Taichi's apartment, choosing to put on a movie and order wings for dinner.

Things were going okay, until they were sitting on the couch in the middle of the movie, and Taichi noticed that there was a bit of sauce stuck to the corner of Yamato's cheek. It was not really unreasonable, considering what they had just ate. Frankly, Taichi thought it was kind of adorable. (wait, like _baby Hikari_ _adorable_ , he clarified to nobody in particular) Anyway, Yamato hated being messy, so Taichi decided he would be a good friend and let him know.

"Yama-"

"Hm?" Yamato turned to look at him from his spot next to him on the couch.

 _'You've got food on your face'_ – was what Taichi wanted to say. Except that there were no words coming out of his mouth at all.

And, wait, why the hell was his hand moving forward instead?

Yamato stared at him curiously while, from Taichi's perspective, everything had turned into slow-motion like some sort of damn cliché in a movie scene.

All of a sudden, Taichi's heart was hammering against his ribcage and every individual nerve in his finger _tingled_ as he brushed against Yamato's cheek and rubbed away the sauce.

His surroundings sped up again and Taichi snapped out of the weird trance that had possessed him.

"Ah-" he stuttered. "You just had something on your face. It's- it's gone now though." He could have smacked himself in the face. _Duh, it's gone now – I just wiped it off!_

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yamato registered that it was weird that Taichi stuttered. He didn't think he'd ever heard the brunet stutter before. But rather than dwelling on that insignificant detail, he focused his attention on the portion of skin on his face that literally felt as if it were on _fire_.

And, _yes_ , Yamato was aware of just how absurd this all was. He'd already made a regular habit of giving blowjobs in public restrooms like it was nothing, so _why in the hell_ would one touch affect him this way?

 _Is he trying to kill me?_ How was Yamato supposed to hide the fact that he was in love with the other when Taichi looked at him with those endearing eyes and touched him with those sensitive fingers like it was the most natural thing in the world?

Yamato consciously put on his best nonchalant face, the one he had perfected out of necessity over years of pining for this _stupid_ and _adorable_ and _oblivious_ idiot.

"Oh- thanks. This is why I hate eating those things." Yamato responded, begging his voice to come out steady.

Of course, Yamato didn't realize that he could have said or done anything at that moment and it wouldn't have registered to Taichi. The brunet was too busy contemplating _what the hell just overcame him_ to pay attention to anything else.

A few jabs about being sloppy and one angry retort later, the two had resumed watching the movie, though Taichi would later have a hard time remembering exactly what movie it was.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx (end flashback)

Taichi furrowed his eyebrows. That moment shouldn't have been any different than the hundreds –thousands?- of times they'd exchanged small touches here and there since they'd first clashed in the DigiWorld, right?

And yet, it had definitely been _different_ ; Taichi would be stupid to claim otherwise. Yamato had been _different_ somehow. But was he? He had the same face and the same hair and the same enthralling eyes and the same enticing mouth and- _wait, what was he thinking?_

It was beyond Taichi's capacity to finish that thought. Or maybe he could do it and just didn't want to.

Of course, given these circumstances, the most rational course of action would probably be to somewhat limit his contact with Yamato until he figured out what the hell was wrong with him.

And yet, here he was, putting on his dress shoes and getting ready for a night out in the city at some club he'd never heard of, _Revival_ (or was it _Revelry?_ or _Revolver?)_.

Because, when it boiled down to it, he couldn't say no. Not to Yamato. In fact, he found he didn't even _want_ to say no. He was actually really looking forward to it.

After all, Taichi had always adopted a sort of dive-in-first, and figure-out-the-consequences-later attitude, and it had mostly steered him right thus far. What was the point of overthinking things?

* * *

Yamato's hands fidgeted nervously against the black material of his pants.

 _This was a mistake. This was a horrible idea._ What possibly could have possessed Yamato into thinking that inviting Taichi along to Revelry was a smart move? Cloud 9 and Estella's, sure, great, but Revelry was an entirely different animal. Exactly what good could come out of having his obsession see him in the most sleazy of settings he'd visit to distract himself _from that exact obsession_?

But the moment he made eye contact with Taichi he couldn't help but forget all his worries. It may have helped that his brain short-circuited temporarily at seeing the brunet in dress clothes.

"Taichi, this is Micah," Yamato pointed to a boy with a good-natured smile and freckles. "And this is Cai," he pointed to a slightly younger looking boy whose hair was streaked with blue. "They're distantly-related cousins and they both live in the same dorm as me. And Kyo will be here too but I think he's already inside."

"Nice to meet you both!" Taichi waved as they all waited in line together outside the club.

"So, have you ever been here before Taichi?" Cai asked amicably and Taichi shook his head in response.

"Well, be prepared for a wild ride. The last thing I remember from my first time coming here was ending up stripping down to my underwear and putting on a unicorn costume. Oh, and I might have thrown up into someone's shoes."

Micah narrowed his eyes at Cai, while the other laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, those were my shoes." Micah turned and smiled warmly at Taichi, "You'll be fine. Just watch out for the absinthe-flavored lollipops. And I wouldn't use the bathrooms on the third floor."

Taichi's face was an interesting cross between fascination and uncertainty. "Thanks for the warnings _."_ Taichi looked at Yamato wryly, _"Someone_ had omitted those when inviting me."

"What, did you want me to print out an entire legal contract entailing what the Revelry was?"

"No, but you know I _love_ lollipops. Those would have been the death of me."

"I don't see how it's my fault that, despite years of warnings, you still accept candy from strangers."

Cai and Micah watched entertained as the pair bickered until they were all interrupted by the bouncer asking for IDs.

As they all walked into the sweaty interior of the club, Yamato watched nervously as Taichi's eyes widened as they picked out the outfits of some of the more risqué partygoers in the club.

Fortunately, before Taichi could have the chance to process what he was really doing here (at which point Yamato was certain he would want to leave), Kyo came up to the two of them with hurricane drinks in each hand. He handed the purple one to Taichi and grinned, "You're going to love these, Taichi. They're Revelry's specialty."

As he passed the drink to Yamato, Yamato just gave him a grateful smile, silently thanking Kyo for distracting Taichi, if only momentarily, from the raunchiness of the club.

Kyo understood and responded with a quick wink before saying, "And this is for you, Yamato. I know you always get the strawberry one. Though I can't imagine why since it tastes like cough syrup."

"Well, Yamato's always had a penchant for pink drinks." Taichi supplied playfully.

"What's wrong with that? That's just because they always taste the least like real alcohol!" Yamato defended.

"Tch," Kyo clicked his tongue, "This is why you're always getting mistaken for a girl, Yamato."

"I don't want to be hearing that from _you_ of all people!"

"What's that – did I hear that Yamato's dressing up as a girl?" Micah chimed in over the loud music in the background.

"In your dreams!"

"Well, it wouldn't be the weirdest dream I've ever had."

"Anyway, we'd better hurry or we won't get a table." Yamato muttered in an attempt to steer the conversation away from _whatever_ it had developed into.

Micah chortled in response, "You really think Zach would deny _you_ a table?"

"Who's Zach?" Taichi questioned as Yamato's face blanched.

"A total creep-"

"The main host for this floor. Whenever Yamato's with us, he always gives our table _extra_ attention. Well, he gives one of us extra attention, anyway." Kyo said, smirking at Yamato. "I don't see him here tonight though."

"Ugh, I don't want to take my chances." Yamato said, clearly revolted. "Let's go to the second floor this time."

XxXxXxXxX

"So you guys have been friends since like, grade school?"

Taichi and Yamato nodded in unison, amused by the disbelieving question they received all too often.

Taichi clarified, "Well, I guess we weren't always friends. We got on each other's nerves a lot back then."

Cai's eyes glinted mischievously. "Okay so tell us, Taichi, has Yamato always been this much of a tease?"

This time, Taichi and Yamato both sputtered into their drinks simultaneously.

Taichi recovered first. He placed one finger thoughtfully on his chin while starting, "To tell you the truth…" He paused a few seconds for dramatic effect. "Totally."

Yamato, caught off guard by Taichi's response, managed an irritated "Hey!" while the others snickered.

Taichi elaborated, "I mean you should have seen the type of stuff he would wear for his band gigs. And mind you, this was in high school! You could literally hear the ovaries of high school girls everywhere exploding every time they performed. And that would be fine and all, except for the fact that every time a girl would approach him after said performance, he would turn them down right away!"

Taichi paused, suddenly feeling like an idiot. _Wait, h_ _ad it always been that obvious? Since back then?  
_

He continued, "I mean… it makes sense now, considering the being gay thing and all. But, at the time, yes… a total tease move."

"Yep, sounds like Yamato," agreed Kyo.

Taichi continued telling funny stories from their high school times, with Yamato occasionally correcting him (which, of course, would lead to a small argument over which version of the story was the right one).

"But yeah… safe to say it was somebody else's kid." Taichi finished saying and everyone else hollered while Yamato just shook his head.

Cai turned to Yamato with an excited expression. **"** Yamato, you know, I think those ice shots are calling your name!"

"I really don't think so," Yamato resisted, "Are you sure those aren't just the voices in your head?"

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" Cai insisted, dragging a displeased and tipsy Yamato towards yet another portion of the club.

"Ice shots?" Taichi questioned.

"They're another one of Revelry's specialties." Kyo replied, smiling again as if referring to an inside joke. "You should go check it out."

Taichi got to his feet to follow the other pair. When he stood up and the room spun for a moment he realized that he was much drunker than he thought. _I guess that's why those hurricanes are so famous… they seriously sneak up on you._ He was actually starting to regret his last drink as he stumbled through the crowd after Yamato and Cai.

Ice shots, it turns out, were just shots done on ice (or rather, shots poured down ice sculptures into the mouths of their takers). Taichi thought that it seemed to be a somewhat excessive method of consuming alcohol, but that was probably the point. And as Yamato bent down on his knees so he could position his mouth to be able to swallow the falling alcohol before it hit the ground, Taichi's mouth went dry and he realized, that yes, that was the exact point.

His eyes were glued to the sight, so much so that he could track the slightest movement of Yamato's throat as the last of the liquid went down. Through the pounding in his ears, he faintly heard cheers from the nearby clubbers.

A part of Taichi was insisting that this was the last straw and that there was probably, _definitely_ , a question that needed to be answered _right now_ regarding the direction the blood in his body was currently flowing. But another part, which was emboldened by the alcohol running through his veins, vehemently denied it.

Fucking fuck it, he would think about this in the morning. Right now, he needed another drink. Now.

He wandered over to the closest bar while willing his eyes to focus on something- anything really- other than the blond. Fortunately for him, his eyes were having a tough enough time focusing on anything for that to be too much of an issue.

Taichi grinned as he saw familiar green hair at the bar, deciding that talking to Kyo would serve as a great distraction from his inner turmoil.

He sidled into the bar stool next to Kyo, very pleased with himself when he managed not to fall over.

Kyo, picking up on how drunk the other was, quickly ordered a glass of water. "So what'd you think of the ice shots?"

 _You're supposed to be the distraction, so why are you asking me about it?_ Then again, Kyo didn't exactly know he was the distraction, so Taichi forgave him.

"They were… cool." Taichi responded as vaguely as possible. "No pun intended."

Kyo chuckled and it abruptly occurred to Taichi that Kyo would probably be considered attractive, in a pretty sort of way.

And for some reason this realization caused words on the tip of Taichi's tongue, words that he was certain he didn't want or need to say, to spill out.

"So uh… have you and Yamato… ever been a thing?"

 _Shit, why did he just ask that?_ He was just… making casual conversation, of course... Small talk. To be polite. He wasn't even curious, really.

"Huh?" Kyo was looking at him like he had two heads. Maybe Taichi wasn't the only person who was currently seeing double of everything.

"Well, you just seemed to get along well. With Yamato. And well… it's Yamato, so it's kind of surprising. I mean because he doesn't always open up that easily." Taichi hoped that counted as enough of an explanation.

It seemed to do the trick as Kyo's features transitioned to understanding and he let out a laugh. "I can see why you'd think it, I guess, but no way. We're in a 100% platonic relationship." He added jokingly, "Maybe think that's why we've been friends this long."

Taichi instantly felt a little lighter at Kyo's response. Kyo noticed the way Taichi's face visibly relaxed and smirked to himself. The two of them grabbed their drinks (Taichi's was just water) and made their way back to their booth.

"So, how's your girlfriend doing?"

"Ah she's good… she's been busy though."

Kyo was about to respond, but his words were tuned out by Yamato and Micah who had also made it to the table.

"And I was thinking like, what would Yamato do in this situation? Since I know you're so well-versed with this problem."

"Well, if you want my holy opinion, it sounds like you're screwed." Yamato teased.

"Actually, getting screwed doesn't sound like a bad plan." Micah said thoughtfully, getting up from the table. He turned to Taichi as he left and waved cheerfully. "Oh, in case I don't get a chance to say goodbye, Taichi, it was nice meeting you! Hopefully we'll be seeing you around more. I promise we aren't always this gay." Taichi laughed while Yamato and Kyo rolled their eyes.

"Man, I gotta pee. I'll be back." Kyo said a moment later, leaving Taichi and Yamato as the only ones on the table.

Taichi turned to Yamato, specifically pushing the last scene he'd witnessed of the blond as far into the back of his mind as possible. "Your friends are seriously funny… and they're so nice too."

Yamato smiled. "Yeah, I don't know where I would've been with without them." He added quickly, "It's not like it is with the Chosen, of course, but they really have been great."

Taichi nodded understandingly. He motioned broadly to the rest of the club, "I have to hand it to you and gay bars, though… I'm pretty freaking smashed."

"You too? I nearly walked into a glass door on my way back here. Actually, maybe I did because my nose hurts."

They both started laughing, probably much harder than was warranted by the comment. They only stopped when Cai came back to the table, clinging onto Yamato's elbow.

"Yamato, come dance! Please? You can be my wingman."

Even in his intoxicated state, Taichi saw Yamato's eyes light up at the mention of dancing.

But, Yamato looked over at Taichi carefully. "Is it okay if we go? Do you... want to join?"

Taichi waved his hands, indicating that he was totally fine with them going. "Yeah, go, I'm definitely at a good spot already. I'll pass on the dancing though or I might end up kissing the dance floor."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

To Taichi's drunken mind, watching Yamato on the dance floor was an ethereal experience. How could it have been so many years and Taichi never knew that Yamato could dance like _this_? He was easily better than most girls Taichi had known.

Now that he thought about it, he'd never really seen Yamato dancing because, well, it hadn't really been considered normal for guys to dance together whenever they'd been out. That was more of a thing girls did. The more he watched Yamato's body move rhythmically to the music, though, the more he thought he wouldn't have minded if it _was_ a guy thing to go dancing together.

Taichi frowned slightly, realizing that in the seconds that he had zoned out, he had lost track of Yamato. He looked out into the crowd for the unique blond hair that was usually so easy to pick out. He looked for Cai, hoping to find Yamato next to him, but was unable to find him either.

A few more minutes of frantic searching confirmed that Yamato was nowhere in sight and Taichi's chest tightened with what was likely an irrational paranoia.

 _Where did he go?_

* * *

Aghh, I hadn't meant to end it exactly that way but this chapter ended up getting too long so I split it up with the next one so I promise the next chapter will feel a bit more conclusive in terms of Taichi and his feelings.

 **In the meantime, let me know what you think?** Thank you for reading to the end- I know it was painfully dragged out at some points which I'm sorry for, but I was trying to make it more realistic (and I'm also awful at writing Taichi). I do love Taichi as a character, which might be why it's so much easier for me to write Yamato ;).


	5. In Broad Moonlight

I'm so sorry guys- apart from almost forgetting about this story, I also feel like I've completely lost my muse for it. I'm pressing ahead and trying to finish it so please bear with me for the next couple chapters if the characterizations seem totally off. I hope you still enjoy reading!

 **XxXxXxXxX**

Yamato's breath hitched at the familiar friction against his lower body as a leg forced its way in between his thighs. His mind vaguely registered the coldness of the bathroom wall against his back and a roaming hand that was somehow untucking his dress shirt and caressing his left hip in one motion.

He felt his inebriated consciousness slowly fading against the feeling of a warm tongue making circles against his neck.

In what was likely a final effort of the sane part of his brain to prevent a disaster, an image of a certain brunet was dangled in the forefront of his thoughts. It miraculously seemed to do the trick and Yamato slowly shook out of his reverie.

 _Oh god, Taichi!_

Yamato scrambled to string his thoughts together; quite a feat considering the alcohol that was still wreaking havoc on his nervous system.

 _He's… here, back at the booth… right now? And I should… be with him?_

A light squeeze against his backside drew Yamato's attention back to his current predicament. The unpleasant realization of _where_ he was and exactly _who_ he was pressed against left Yamato immobilized once again.

The feeling he was currently experiencing was kind of like waking up, looking at the clock, and realizing he'd just slept through an exam, except maybe ten times worse.

 _How the hell did I even let myself get into this situation?_

Yamato vaguely remembered being on the dance floor. Though he had been initially disappointed, he was later grateful that Taichi hadn't joined them on the dance floor, as Yamato wasn't quite confident in his ability to keep his hands off of him. Not with how unfairly sexy Taichi looked tonight.

He'd then decided that he would never drink this much around Taichi again if he didn't want to do something he'd regret in the morning.

Some time later, Cai was whisked away for a dance by the senior he'd been making eyes at all night. Yamato had planned on heading back to the table shortly afterwards to join Taichi again. Except somewhere along the way he'd been derailed, by _him_.

Yamato knew that he should've gotten away when they had first made eye contact across the dance floor. He should've known _better-_ that a spark of eye contact would quickly lend itself to physical contact. He should have recognized the usual pattern of events that would lead him to the messy position he was currently in.

It was at times like this when he hated his drunken lack of self-awareness the most. It was as if he used up his entire reserve of self-control on every moment he was with Taichi, leaving him with little to no restraint to draw upon for any other situation. _That absolutely can't be healthy._

Calling upon every last lingering fragments of sobriety in his subconscious, Yamato willed himself to pull back firmly, releasing his neck from the aggressive mouth. He glared into the crystal grey eyes of opposite of him and placed a palm squarely on the taller male's chest, forcefully putting distance between them.

"I can't-" Yamato grimaced when his voice caught momentarily in his throat like cotton. He restarted, injecting as much seriousness into his tone as possible. "This can't happen right now, Yuno."

XxXxXxXxX

Kyo came back from the bathroom to find Taichi perched at the edge of his seat looking around.

"Jeez, that line was insane. It didn't help that the first stall had someone puking in it… and the second one was clogged…" Kyo trailed off when Taichi looked at him intently, something clearly bothering him.

"Hey Kyo… did you see Yamato in the bathrooms?"

Taichi was aware that the worry in his voice was poorly hidden. He also knew he was acting uncharacteristically motherly (or rather, Sora-like) _,_ though he couldn't put his finger on the reason for it.

Sure, him and Yamato were protective of each other, maybe more so than most friends. It was part and parcel of the whole "being in countless life-and-death situations together and saving the world" thing. But, by that same token, he had complete faith that Yamato could take care of himself. So why did he feel such a need to know where he was?

Taichi spoke again, making more of an effort to come off nonchalantly this time. "I thought he was on the dance floor, but last I checked he wasn't there anymore. I thought maybe you'd seen him."

Kyo placed a slender finger on his chin and thought for a moment. If Taichi had been slightly more sober, he may have comprehended the knowing look that flitted past Kyo's face before it was replaced by one of mild annoyance.

"Fuck. I'll look for him." Kyo said exasperatedly, before pointing directly at Taichi. "I'm sure it's not big deal, so you stay here. Since you're already drunk."

Then he walked away, muttering to no one in particular something that sounded suspiciously like, "Yamato would kill me if you went and got picked up by someone. Although I should kill _him_ first, what does that idiot think he's doing?"

Taichi did his best to busy himself with the club's fun atmosphere, honest he did. The eccentric outfits on the dance floor and the scantily dressed group of girls who'd gotten just drunk enough to dance together on the table over were certainly enough to grab his attention.

But alcohol and time had a strange relationship, and five minutes of people-watching later Taichi could've sworn that he'd been waiting at least a half hour.

He was ready to go home – but he was missing something, or rather, someone. His anxiety gave way to irritation as he grumbled, "Of course Yamato would bring me to a raunchy gay club and just _leave_ me here." _He's lucky I still owe him for that time I threw up in his carpet. And also that I can't bring myself to go back without him._

As he sunk back into the booth, a random line floated out of Taichi's memory, muttered casually by Micah outside the club just a few hours prior. _"Stay away from the absinthe-flavored lollipops. And the third-floor bathrooms."_

The recollection incited something instinctive within Taichi, who had never been an incredibly patient person in the first place. Kyo's demand that he stay put was easily forgotten as he clamored to his feet, an innate curiosity pulling him to a flight of stairs that could only lead him up to the third floor.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

"I'm not interested tonight, Yuno." Yamato repeated, wishing that would be all it would take for the male across from him to somehow disappear. From prior experience, though, he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

Yuno grinned, flicking away the blond-streaked bangs that covered his right eye, before inching closer. "Really? That's not what you," he looked Yamato up and down slyly, "were saying until just a moment ago."

Yamato knew he should have kept his distance from Yuno from the beginning, when Yuno had first asked him out after the third time they'd hooked up. Yamato had refused the dating, but the physical contact between them only became more frequent.

"I mean it this time, Yuno." Yamato straightened his body and took a step towards the exit, but Yuno mirrored his actions in an obvious attempt to keep him cornered.

"How long has it been since we saw each other Yamato… over a month?" Yuno's eyes flashed, the obvious possessiveness in them barely masking an unmistakable _hunger_. "Been keeping busy with other people? "

"Yes, I _have_ been busy." Yamato gritted out. _Keep it short and simple, Yamato, you don't owe him any explanations._

Yuno had figured out at some point the reason Yamato was so emotionally unavailable was because he was already in a hopelessly unrequited love. But rather than being deterred, he'd seemed to be even more interested in Yamato as a challenge.

It was at that time that Yamato had realized that what had started as a casual friends-with-benefits relationship had gone much farther than normal.

Yamato stared ahead warily, keeping his wandering mind off echoes from the other drunken sex sessions occurring in the bathroom stalls. "I think you've drank too much tonight Yuno…"

Yuno let out a short bark of a laugh. "Even if I was sober, how was I supposed to stay away when you were putting on such a _show_ for me out there on the dance floor?" He said it jokingly, but the resumed touches against Yamato's thighs were anything but funny.

"I wasn't doing anything _for you_." Yamato spat out.

But his very own skin, which was so magnetized to every one of Yuno's heavy touches, seemed to be pulling him towards the other in spite of his words. Just as it was in this moment, it was always so difficult to say no to Yuno.

Yuno seemed to notice this too, and called it out with a coy upward turn of his lips. "Your body seems to be saying otherwise. Why are you fighting it?" He ran the back of his fingers over the goosebumps on Yamato's otherwise smooth arm.

Yamato was so busy chastising his body for betraying him that he barely noticed a shadow fall over them.

He finally pulled his arm away from Yuno's grasp. "I'm not-"

A tanned hand suddenly fell onto Yuno's shoulder and shifted him slightly back.

Yamato's brain, which had already been moving at a turtle's pace, completely stalled when he recognized whose hand it was.

 _What was Taichi of all people doing on the third floor? How did he even know about the third floor?_

This was the second time Taichi had caught him in a less than ideal situation.

 _Shit, lady luck officially hates me._

Yuno looked over his shoulder at Taichi with an irate expression.

"Hey man, as you can see, we're a little busy here. Don't you know not to interrupt people on the third floor?"

"I was just looking for Yamato." Taichi returned, his voice steely. Yamato was all too familiar with that tone, having been on the receiving end of it for so many years. Hearing it directed at Yuno almost made Yamato laugh out loud, which was a sure sign that the impossibility of this situation had just about broken his sanity.

"Oh?" Yuno studied the brunet with piqued curiosity. "And who are you, his boyfriend?"

Yamato blanched at the question. He wanted to tell them _both_ off for acting like he wasn't even there, but was having a touch time coordinating his mouth with his brain. _I am never, ever, drinking this much again._

Taichi seemed momentarily caught off guard by the assumption as well, but quickly replied. "No, I'm Taichi, and I'm a good friend. And Yamato and I…" Taichi looked over at Yamato meaningfully, "…were just about to head home soon." His posture was composed and his tone was slightly calmer, but the subtle threat in his voice towards Yuno was still evident.

"Ye-" Yamato was just beginning to voice his agreement with Taichi when he realized Yuno was looking between him and Taichi suspiciously. Yamato watched with increasing dismay as a slow understanding registered on Yuno's face.

The angry gleam in Yuno's eyes when his gaze settled back on Yamato practically screamed, "Oh, so _he's_ the guy?"

Taichi's frown deepened as Yuno once again invaded Yamato's space and whispered into his ear.

"You've been keeping it a secret all these months, right?" Yamato could hear Yuno roll his tongue piercing against the roof of his mouth as he drew out the words. "I wonder what his reaction would be if he knew. Disgust or anger?"

Yamato's eyes widened as he grasped exactly where this was going. "Don't you dare…"

But Yuno had already moved back to face Taichi, who was eyeing Yamato with concern.

A wicked grin played upon Yuno's lips as he asked ominously, "Taichi, have you ever felt like Yamato was keeping something from you?"

The confused expression on Taichi's face finally kicked the gears in Yamato's brain into action, prompting him to do something, _anything,_ before Yuno ruined everything.

He knew that stopping Yuno was impossible, so that only left one option. He _needed_ to get Taichi away from here.

Yamato let out a measured breath, and stepped forward to lock onto Taichi's brown eyes. "Taichi, thanks for coming to find me and all, but I'm fine. You can go back without me."

Taichi's expression, which had previously been completely composed, darkened and the muscles across his jaw tightened. The two of them seemed to be able to control their emotions around just about anyone except each other.

"You didn't exactly seem _fine_ to me."

"I'm an adult just like you Taichi, I can make whatever decisions I want to." Though he said them as coolly as he could, the words were physically painful for Yamato.

Staring into Taichi's brown eyes, he wanted nothing more than to grab the other and go home together. And he would have, if it weren't for the fact that Yuno was watching the pair like a hawk and had Yamato's deepest secret buzzing on his tongue.

Taichi studied him for half a second before speaking. "Yama, you're drunk."

"I think _you're_ drunk, Taichi. Your ears are red."

Taichi crossed his arms across his chest. "That's not the point here. We're talking about me helping you get out of here."

Yamato noticed Yuno, who was growing impatient and unhappy at being ignored, open his mouth.

"And who says I wanted your help in the first place? Or to leave at all?" Yamato snapped frantically, too desperate to shut Yuno up to consider Taichi's feelings in the moment.

He quickly regretted his words at the sight of Taichi's wounded expression.

"So you _want_ to stay here? With this jerk?" He asked heatedly, waving his hand in Yuno's direction.

They were now loud enough that they were disturbing the surrounding couples.

"That's what I already said right?" Yamato said, his own voice escalating in response to the situation. "Why are you being so stubborn?"

Taichi was about to fire back a retort, but he quickly bit the inside of his cheek.

His eyes glazed over, a string of thoughts fluttering behind them as he digested Yamato's last words. He gradually looked between Yamato and Yuno, as if he was asking himself the same question.

"You know what, forget it." He finally announced, running a hand through his brown hair. "Forget I said anything."

Taichi met Yuno's triumphant grin with narrowed eyes before he turned back to Yamato with a nearly apologetic expression. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Yamato."

Then he quickly stalked off, leaving Yamato perplexed and feeling worse than if he'd just kicked a puppy. He stared off in the direction Taichi had left and attempted to follow, but it felt like his legs had turned to jelly.

Not even a minute passed before Yuno confidently sidled up to him once again. He lightly grabbed onto Yamato's chin. "Look, why don't we settle this back at my place?"

Yamato looked at him incredulously and shoved him off. "Are you kidding me? Taichi, you- this- this is all your fault!"

Yuno sneered through his bangs, "Oh come on, it didn't even seem like he cared about you that much." He lowered his voice. "There's no way someone like him could make you squirm in bed the way I do."

Yamato inhaled sharply, Yuno's words hitting him like a bucket of ice-cold water.

"You're not even in the same league as him, so don't bother," he seethed. He was suddenly extremely disgusted by the thought of ever being attracted to Yuno.

He managed his way out of the bathroom, only to slump against the nearest wall. He had a sudden urge to crawl into the nearest corner and cradle himself to sleep in the fetal position.

Fortunately, Kyo appeared out of the shadows and grabbed Yamato's shoulders.

"What the fuck are you doing up here?"

Yamato pulled at his hair frantically. "I fucked up Kyo. Taichi's really going to hate me now. I mean, I hate me now too."

Kyo struggled to process what had happened. "Wait, you saw Taichi? He was up here?"

"Yeah, and he saw me and Yuno-"

Kyo's mouth tensed. "What was that bastard doing there?"

"-and then we got into a big argument. And basically this is all my fault. Why did I bring him here in the first place? And why do I always react in the worst possible way around him, Kyo?" Yamato slammed his fist into the wall.

Kyo took a deep breath. "Okay, just calm down for now. You're totally smashed. I don't know what happened, but there's no way Taichi can hate you-

"Yes, there-"

Kyo cut him off. "He was so worried about you! What do you think about how he's feeling right now?!"

Yamato just blinked at him, expending great effort to sort out the messy threads in his head into one cohesive thought.

 _Knowing Taichi... rather than him hating me it was much more likely that he would somehow think he was the one who did something wrong in this situation… Even though I did literally every single thing wrong._

"Okay, so maybe he doesn't hate me, but how am I supposed to explain-"

"Figure it out later!" Kyo exclaimed, half-carrying and half-shoving Yamato down the stairs. "Just go find him and talk to him!"

XxXxXxXxXx

It wasn't until the lack of circulation caused a sharp, painful tingling in his fingers that Taichi realized his fists were clenched way too tightly.

He loosened them slowly and attempted to take a deep breath. His mind was still reeling with questions from his encounter on the third floor as he weaved in and out of clumps of drunk people.

 _Yamato was right – what the hell had I been trying to do up there? Who was I to butt in on whoever Yamato wanted to be with?_ He was Yamato's best friend, not some sort of bodyguard.

 _And it's not like Yamato has ever intruded on any of my hookups like that._ Granted, Taichi had never gone home with anyone nearly as sleazy looking as that guy who'd been cornering Yamato, but that wasn't technically Taichi's business either.

Taichi's stomach swirled with emotion. Despite what Yamato had said upstairs, Taichi was not completely convinced that the situation was okay. Or perhaps there was another layer of Taichi's apprehension that he was in no mood to explore.

 _Maybe I should wait at Yamato's place just in case… to make sure he gets back okay…_ Taichi shook his head at the ridiculous thought. Yamato would probably punch him if he did that. Why did he have to keep reminding himself that Yamato wasn't some girl he needed to take care of?

The exit of the club finally came into view. It had only taken this long because he'd headed in the wrong direction twice, but he chose to blame that more on this club's ridiculous layout and dark corners than his own inability to think straight.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Taichi!" A familiar deep voice floated into Taichi's ears as he walked down the sidewalk away from the club. He also heard footsteps rapidly approaching him. _Was Yamato running towards him?_

Taichi turned around slowly, not entirely sure what to expect and half-prepared for Yamato to lunge at him. He certainly didn't expect the ever-graceful Yamato to stumble over a rock and nearly fall over about a foot in front of him.

Out of reflex, he moved to position his arm around Yamato's waist and used the other to prop Yamato's weight against his own.

"Maybe I should help you home. Those drinks were really strong." Taichi said, attributing the warm sparks inside of him to his drunkenness, or maybe his relief that Yamato was alone.

Yamato struggled against Taichi's hold on him as his own guilt multiplied. First he ruined their night and simultaneously made Taichi feel awful, and now he was making Taichi help him _again_ \- in what world was this fair? And worst of all, why did these damn butterflies have to appear every time Taichi touched him?

Yamato gave Taichi a dulled glare, shame from the previous incident amplifying his irritation. "Why are you offering to walk _me_ home when _you_ can barely walk at all either? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you need to suddenly start treating me like some kind of damsel in distress."

"I know, I never thought you were." Taichi muttered back.

Out of anyone else in the world, he probably understood Yamato's stubborn need for independence the best, but that didn't mean it didn't still hurt sometimes.

"Fine then." Taichi huffed and quickly let go of Yamato, who fell right to the ground from the sudden lack of support.

"Thanks a lot." Yamato said sarcastically, rubbing his sore bottom. There was too much alcohol in his system for the statement to come out with much bite though.

"You were the one who asked for it." Taichi responded, turning around to shrug his shoulders at him while walking off. If Yamato didn't want any help, he could comply with that. _Whatever, he can get home whenever he wants._

Unfortunately, Taichi didn't realize that looking at Yamato left him unable to look in front of him, which was definitely a problem.

Yamato, from his spot on the ground, was very quickly greeted with the amusing sight of a disoriented Taichi walking right into a bus stop pole and landing squarely on his butt.

Once the concrete stopped spinning, Taichi made eye contact with Yamato who was struggling to keep a straight face.

"You know, I think I might have just had a drunken epiphany on why Sora thinks we're both idiots." Taichi announced seriously.

"You mean… because she's a smart person and was totally right?" Yamato slurred back.

"Yeah, pretty much."

And just like that, like the snapping of a rubber band, the tension between them vanished. They threw back their heads and laughed freely under the clear sky. They'd probably seem crazy to anyone watching.

Yamato finally got up and brushed off his dress pants before staggering over to Taichi and extending a hand.

"Okay, how about we walk each other home? We're going in the same direction anyway. We can split up at the corner of 63rd."

"I guess that probably makes more sense." Taichi acquiesced with a small smile and allowed himself to be pulled up.

They took a few steps in silence before Yamato said somberly, "I'm really glad I caught up to you... I- I wanted to say sorry about earlier in the club." Taichi caught the frustration in his voice, though it seemed to be directed at himself.

Taichi almost missed a step out of surprise after hearing the apology. Usually, they would fight until they were satisfied, or just revert back to their usual antics without talking about it again. It was a normal ebb and flow, and there wasn't generally any need for apologies because it would just be understood. Then again, they weren't exactly in their normal states right now.

"No," Taichi insisted, "You were right with what you said about not being a damsel in distress. And it wasn't really my place to butt in-"

"But still, I shouldn't have snapped at you… I'm really sorry." Yamato said softly. "You were right that I was drunk, and I wasn't thinking soundly, and you were just trying to help. And I freaked out because- well, I wasn't expecting you to see me like that and I was scared of what you'd think."

Taichi just nodded quietly in understanding. It wasn't often that Yamato rambled about the way he felt, and to be honest, he was completely captivated by the vulnerability in his voice. He didn't want to ruin it until he was certain the other had disclosed everything on his mind.

Yamato swallowed visibly, apprehension growing in his eyes. "Aren't you going to ask about… all that happened back there?"

Taichi looked in the opposite direction of Yamato before the other would have a chance to read his expression. Of course, Taichi was curious. Like, so curious he was damn near willing to sell his right pinky to figure out who the hell that Yuno bastard was and why Yamato seemed so willing to let him do whatever he wanted.

But he was less certain he would be able to control his own reaction to whatever information Yamato was about to divulge. And he was even less sure that he wanted to uncover exactly why he had the sudden urge to go back to the club and shove someone's head into a table.

And because of that, he refrained.

Taichi shrugged. "Nah, it's okay. You can tell me when you want to tell me. I was also drunk and intruding on your own private life." He held up a single finger and smirked. "Rule #1: Don't intrude on Yamato's personal feelings unless you want to end up falling off of a mountain in subzero weather, I learned that firsthand in Yamato 101."

The corners of Yamato's mouth turned up slightly. "So… you're not mad at me?"

"Huh?" Taichi's eyebrows rose slightly. "Why would I be mad? I thought you'd be mad at me for always butting in?"

Yamato shook his head in disbelief. "You're so ridiculous. If you butting in made me mad, we would never have been friends. I learned _that_ all the way back in Taichi 101."

Taichi just snickered and raised his hands behind his head. "I'm glad you were paying attention."

They walked a few more moments in silence, but it was the comfortable type this time.

"Taichi… thank you." Yamato finally mumbled as they rounded the corner of 63rd.

They had reached the fork in the road, and Taichi stopped walking and turned to Yamato.

He was taken aback when he found Yamato already staring back at him, blue eyes bright and sparking under the moonlight.

"What for?"

"I don't know- for all of this." Yamato gestured widely around him. "For accepting me for who I am. For being the best friend I could have asked for. For forgiving me so often and always being so nice. I owe you so much more than a thank you… but thanks for being you."

Taichi gulped. _If this is the kind of effect he has on people when he opens up, it's probably better for the world that he acts like a cold, closed-off introvert most of the time._

But it wasn't just Yamato's voice or words that were captivating, Taichi realized. It was all of him, from his rose-colored cheekbones to the angelic skin that practically seemed to glow.

"…Taichi?"

Yamato was looking at him expectantly, now looking slightly less embarrassed and slightly more annoyed. "I know you have virtually no manners, but usually people would at least say 'You're welcome"'when someone pours out their soul to them."

"I'm sorry," Taichi chortled, trying to cover up the fact that he just been rendered speechless in real life. "I was just trying to figure out how much of that was the alcohol talking and how much of it was real."

Yamato rolled his eyes and reached up to flick Taichi in the forehead.

"This is literally the last time I'm ever thanking you-"

"No, but really, you need to give yourself more credit, Yamato." Taichi interjected gently. "I definitely wouldn't have stayed your friend all these years if I didn't truly value your friendship, either. You don't owe me anything."

Yamato smiled back in response, a true smile that lit up his face. "Thanks. And good night, Taichi. Let's not have another night like this again, though, please."

"Yeah, good night. If I never see another hurricane drink in my life again, I'll die a happy person."

Yamato laughed in agreement, and a few strands of golden hair fell into his face.

Taichi's hands twitched. Had Yamato's hair always been so _touchable_? I mean, sure, it had always been pretty pleasant to touch when he would ruffle it to make Yamato mad, but why did this sudden desire feel so different?

Before he could do anything ridiculous, Taichi shoved his hands in his pockets and turned around to walk down the other street. He only trusted himself to pull them out again to wave goodbye to Yamato at a safe distance.

* * *

Though I'm not extremely thrilled with this chapter, am proud that it's done! And now excited that I can now continue with the rest of the story.

 **Let me know if you're liking it - it helps me stay motivated to write! :) New year, same torturously adorable taiyama~**


	6. The Second Lie

***hides in corner nonchalantly** as if it hasn't been almost a year since this was last updated and as if I had more to show for it than this angst-ridden, slapdash chapter* It's unfortunate how hard it is to separate real life and writing sometimes. As a warning, there is some content that is pushing the envelope in terms of sexual rating in this chapter, but it is not super explicit.

 **XxXxXxXxXx**

Yamato waited until Taichi had turned the corner and was out of sight before letting out a breath he'd been holding and smashing his face into the palm of his hand.

 _What the hell were you just thinking Yamato?_

In that second, in just that moment when he was facing Taichi, something fantastical, something delusional, something dream-like had taken hold of Yamato.

He'd thought that maybe he should just reach out. Grab the other's jaw, lean forward, and kiss the brunet.

 _Like some kind of damn couple._

He dug his fingers into his scalp and shook his head back and forth.

Of course, this was just evidence that he'd let his unhealthy obsession grow into an unhealthy delusion.

Just evidence that he'd gotten so used to being around Taichi like this that he was imagining having Taichi around forever.

 _That maybe he'd be greeted with that smile every morning_.

Yamato's head drooped unsteadily. He was emotionally exhausted.

Crawling onto the sidewalk was starting to seem awfully appealing, but he steadied his feet and trudged onwards to his dorm room.

The weight of each lie he'd told over the past years was pressing down on back, and the secrets that he held deep inside were threatening to slip out through the growing cracks that seemed to appear all over his body.

This wasn't the serendipitous, disillusioned world of a teenage Yamato Ishida. This was _reality_. And it came crashing down around Yamato like a broken dam.

 _Taichi has a girlfriend. A girlfriend he likes a lot, maybe even loves._

The words were like knives against his heart, and he purposefully dug them in as deep as possible.

Another few steps forward.

His entire being _ached_.

 _Maybe they would get married one day._

Visions of a tuxedo-clad Taichi, a bright smile, a glowing wedding dress, chiming laughter, clinking glasses momentarily enveloped his mind.

Yamato, on the other hand, was resigned to the fate of the best man (and that was only in the slight chance scenario that he wouldn't fuck up their friendship irreparably before then). Best man was a role he decidedly didn't deserve, not in a million lifetimes, and despite knowing how lucky he would be, he couldn't help resenting it.

The ugly voice, which had been lying dormant for a while now, decided to rear its head again.

 _This was why you were never supposed to let him know you were gay. This is why you were supposed to stay as far away from him as possible._ _Is the situation any better now than it was before?_

He hated to admit it, but the voice had a point.

This sensation he'd gotten over the past few weeks- that Taichi might be around forever, that they could do this- fight together, joke together, relax together- endlessly, was addicting. It wrapped Yamato up in a thin bubble of hope and childhood memories and fantasy. And the bubble had only strengthened after Taichi seemed to be completely okay with the fact that Yamato was gay.

But Yamato was terribly, horribly, far gone. It wiped his mind of the ability to think rationally. From remembering that he was expecting the impossible out of poor, unaware, _straight_ Taichi.

If he could time travel, would he tell his younger self to stay away from Taichi, the one who would turn his world on edge?

Yamato's stomach churned.

No, a life without Taichi would have been so bland, so displaced. Like a night sky without a moon, or a tree without leaves, or maybe a guitar with a missing string.

Besides, that idiot wouldn't have allowed it regardless of Yamato's wishes. Their lives had been inescapably intertwined since the moment they became the Digidestined.

 _It couldn't be too late though to un-twine them, right, just a little?_ To save his sanity?

He stared at the door in front of him and marveled at the fact that his feet had somehow found their way back to his dorm without any help from a functional brain. The body was an amazing thing.

He didn't trust his memory, not tonight, and so the first thing he did after he stumbled through the door was grab the nearest piece of paper and a pen. He'd developed this habit after many years of musical inspiration striking at the most inconvenient times.

This time though, instead of lyrics, a simple note was jotted down as a reminder for a sober, hungover Yamato:

 _Distance really is best._

 **XxXxXxXxXxX**

A little over a mile away from Yamato's place, Taichi shut the door behind him and kicked his shoes off haphazardly before wobbling over to the couch and collapsing into it.

Before sleep could overcome him, he pulled out his cell phone and stared at it warily.

 _3 texts._ He skipped over the one from Hikari and opened the ones from Carla.

 _Love you and can't wait to finally see you soon! I'm getting so homesick._

 _Gonna head to sleep - hope you're having fun out! You better not be drinking too much though :/_

His fingers fumbled out a quick 'good night and love you too baby' before he dropped the phone next to him and let out a deep sigh. He sunk back into the couch and covered his eyes with an arm.

When he shut his eyes, a fresh image of Yamato with slightly-parted, too-pink lips appeared; his open, vulnerable eyes swimming with signs of intoxication and something else Taichi couldn't place. A 'thank you', spoken so softly and so earnestly, rung gently in his ears.

 _What the hell is wrong with my brain?_ He rubbed his eyes but the Yamato image may as well have been tattooed into the back of his eyelids for all the good that did.

 _It was just Yamato, his childhood friend, for fuck's sake-_

Taichi let out a slow whistle of air.

 _It was nothing._ It _had_ to be nothing.

It was just the alcohol messing with him. Maybe someone had spiked his drink; it was a sleazy club, after all.

He would go to sleep and, god willing, forget everything that happened. And he would hope with all his heart that Yamato had been too drunk to notice anything amiss.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Taichi found himself knocking on Yamato's door again, though he had no idea why or when he had walked over. Maybe it was the morning.

There was no answer.

But there was someone there, evidenced by the faint noises within, muffled by the door.

As if there was something guiding him, he placed his hand on the door knob and turned. He somehow had known that he would just walk in, but was wholly unprepared for the sight awaiting him.

Yamato was leaning forward over someone else on the couch, the stretching muscles in his back were clearly visible, Taichi realized, because of the lack of clothes. The other man was somewhat shrouded, but hair and half-face clicked together to register that it was that guy from earlier (Yuno was his name?).

Taichi willed himself to retreat, getting the feeling (for the second time in recent memory) that he had witnessed something he shouldn't have, but his nerves must have misinterpreted the message as his stiff legs took another step forward.

In that step forward, Yuno had turned around at him, grey eyes sending that same look of triumph. A foreign emotion pooled at the bottom of Taichi's stomach, and he couldn't help but return a glare.

Yamato looked up at him, and brown eyes locked with hazy, blue ones and suddenly Taichi's perception was jumbled and he had replaced Yuno on the couch. Not just his spot, but everything, including the lack of clothes.

Yuno was gone and there was less than a paper's distance between Yamato's unwavering hand and Taichi's tanned thighs and somehow, ridiculously, the world hadn't come to a stop.

Taichi looked up and a knowing expression was painted onto the other's face, blue eyes burning and pink lips quirked upward in a confident smile.

Taichi didn't think he'd ever seen a sight more breathtaking- in reality or dream. His heart, which had started beating uncomfortably from the moment he'd seen Yamato on the couch, was now hammering wildly against his rib cage.

And as this _different_ Yamato lowered his head slowly, _achingly_ slowly, between Taichi's legs, there were somehow no questions. Potential ramifications and feelings of wrongness had buried themselves so deep in a corner of the room that they were mostly forgotten.

Yamato's mouth enclosed around him, and somewhere in a lucid and drunken dream-state of lust and confusion, Taichi was powerless to do anything but let the fantasy continue. His voice had gotten caught in an endless maze in his throat. His actions already predicted by a subconscious he had no control over.

Heavy breaths ensued, blond hair stuck to pale skin, lips that were too wet, a tongue that was too talented, a humming sound so dangerous it could break him-

There were hands everywhere, palms slicked with sweat, light touches on inner thighs, and before he could stop himself, fingers tugging on silky hair-

And a familiar _wonderful_ feeling, swelling up inside of him, threatening to overwhelm his insides-

It wasn't until the deed was done, until his head was thrown back against the couch that he had fallen asleep on, until Taichi had jolted awake and come down from his high and his pulse had steadied, that the full significance of what had just occurred slammed into him at full force.

He shot up so fast that the blood pounded in his ears as it attempted to catch up.

 _What. The. Fuck._

He made it to the bathroom, vision still spinning, and splashed his face with cold water before gripping the edges of the sink. His reflection automatically came into view.

To put it bluntly, Taichi looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot, in sharp contrast to the lack of color in the rest of his face. He looked the way he felt, raw and violated by foreign sensations.

Carla's words from last week drifted into his head again, _"Taichi, are you okay? You seem… different lately."_

At the thought of Carla, Taichi felt even more pathetic. Taichi could be described in many ways, but disloyal was not one of them. He would never dream of cheating on his sweet girlfriend.

 _Wait – cheating?_ That wasn't even close to it. A dream… that's all it was, just a dream. Even the word dream didn't feel right, because that implied that it was something he desired.

Taichi attempted to reason with his reflection.

 _Guys have wet dreams all the time. They don't necessarily mean anything at all. Half the time we can't even help who they're about._

It was true; Taichi recalled a wet dream about a snooty, strict-faced teacher in high school that he absolutely detested.

 _"If that was the case, though,"_ his reflection scoffed at him. _"Then why is it that you feel so guilty?"_

That answer came to his lips easily: _It's because it's Yamato._

A shiver made its way down his arms. How could he face Yamato normally after _that_ dream? What would the other Chosen children, mostly adults now, think of him if they knew what he had been thinking? What would Yamato think?

When his musings went to Yamato this time, it wasn't the image of the sexy, stretched out blond from the dream that came to mind. Instead, it was his two soccer teammates, hunched over in the corner of the locker room, mouthing their vile and inappropriate perceptions of his best friend.

A horrifying notion inundated him. _Does that make me like them?_

Disgust from the thought mixed uneasily with the toxins pent up in his stomach from hours of drinking as Taichi immediately hurled into the toilet next to him.

The vomiting of his stomach's contents, though repulsive, did help to finally clear his thoughts. He felt equal parts shitty and equal parts appeased, a strange combination of emotions that only puking after a night of inebriation could make you feel.

After an unknown amount of time on the bathroom floor, Taichi got up shakily and was able to make his way back to the living room. He knew he needed to talk to someone, before his thoughts could continue to compound on each other and morph into something insurmountable. He had to sort this out tonight, before facing Yamato again.

He retrieved the phone from the couch and looked through his list of speed dials.

This was exactly the kind of thing he could normally phone Yamato about, and was frustrated that he couldn't, for obvious reasons. Yamato had been the only person who was able to coax him out of his anxious wrath when he'd found out through a misplaced negative pregnancy test that his little sister was sexually active ('you are familiar with the term hypocritical right?' Yamato had joked).

His fingers finally found themselves hovering over another name and he chuckled to himself hollowly.

 _Well, they do say that desperate times call for desperate measures._

 _Ring, ring, ring_.

Taichi was tempted to hang it up, but before he got a chance he heard a click.

 _I guess there's no backing out now._

"Hi Taii~~" came a familiarly loud and singsongy voice through the phone.

Despite his current state, Taichi couldn't help but smile as he heard it, even as he pulled the receiver slightly farther away from his ear.

"Hey Mimi, how's it going?"

"I'm great!" Taichi pictured her kicking her legs against her flowery pink king-sized bed. "And what about you?"

"I'm… okay." Taichi responded, well aware that his tone didn't sound very okay at all.

"Sooo? To what do I owe this pleasure? Is this a drunk dial? Or am I supposed to believe that you called me at 4am your time just to tell me how much you missed me? We just saw each other last month you know!"

 _Right, just a month ago things had been so different_. Last month, Taichi had resolved to give up on one-night stands. Last month, Taichi had been so happy that Yamato had finally gotten a girlfriend.

Taichi sighed emphatically. "Well Mimi, as much as I missed you," (and really, he had) "I called because… well… I think I might have a problem."

"Taichi Yagami has a problem?" Mimi's voice was definitely laced with curiosity. "What could it be?"

Unfortunately, her question was only met with silence.

"Um… Taichi?"

"Uhh…" _Damn, I didn't think through how I was going to say this._

He somehow felt like _'Hey, so I have a girlfriend who I like a lot but I also just woke up to a dream about my childhood friend's mouth around my cock and I think I liked that too'_ might be taken the wrong way by Mimi.

And by that, he meant that Mimi would probably love it and that wouldn't lead to anything good.

"Well," Mimi started for him, "Judging by your reaction, it's something really big."

 _I guess that's true._ Taichi nodded into the phone, though the action was essentially meaningless.

"Okay then… If you're looking for someone to help you hide a dead body, I just got my nails done so I'm not sure I can help… hmm, BUT maybe Jyou could do it though, he's probably used to dead bodies from medical school…"

Mimi was apparently willing to ramble on for as long as necessary until Taichi was finally ready to talk about what he really wanted to. It was oddly calming, in a low-pressure kind of way only Mimi could achieve.

When Taichi tuned back in, she had started to theorize what role each of the Chosen Children could play in helping to cover up Taichi's supposed crime.

Mimi was halfway done discussing how Hikari would seduce the police officer when Taichi finally felt ready to cut her off. "No, no, Mimi, it's not that. I didn't _murder_ anyone. Obviously." _Although, it almost feels like that would be preferable to the real situation._

Mimi huffed. "Okay, then tell me. What's wrong?"

"It's actually…" The line went quiet for a few more seconds. _Just tell her already- Mimi's not one to judge. That's why you called her._ The two of them had had more sensitive conversations in the past two years than Taichi cared to count.

"It actually… has to do with Yamato."

A muffled intake of breath could barely be heard.

"Oh _._ "

There was a hint of something in Mimi's " _oh_ " that Taichi couldn't quite place, but he didn't like it.

"Actually, wait," Taichi backtracked desperately. "Let's pretend I didn't say anything just now."

"Okay…?"

"Let's just say, _in purely hypothetical terms_ -" Taichi emphasized. "Is it normal for a gay guy to invite his straight friend out to gay bars with him?"

Taichi could practically hear Mimi's head whirring at the newfound secret Taichi had just unintentionally disclosed to her. But, to her credit, she kept any questions or comments she had to herself.

"Well… I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Mimi answered after thinking for a second.

"Okay then… is it normal for straight guys to enjoy going to gay bars? Wait actually, it's not that _the straight friend_ enjoys going to gay bars, but more that they just enjoy being with their gay friend a lot – is that normal?"

Taichi could almost hear Mimi shrugging. "I guess I don't get what's wrong about it. The straight friend could enjoy themselves around the other person whether they were gay or not. I don't see why it's a big deal that the friend is gay."

"Exactly! It shouldn't matter whether the friend is gay or not, right? He's the same guy he's ever been…"

"Uh.. right…?"

"So then, why is it that suddenly he seems so different? Or rather… things seem so different?" Taichi realized he probably wasn't making very much sense anymore, and also that he had dropped the hypothetical terms.

Unbeknownst to him, a few things had connected in Mimi's mind. Snuggled up in her pink bathrobe, she was privately thinking, _Do I really have to spell it out for this idiot? Yes, probably._

"Different how, Tai?"

"Well… this straight friend enjoys spending time with his gay friend, that's the same as always." Taichi struggled to get his next words out. "But now sometimes the straight friend catches himself staring at his best friend. Like little things he does are interesting… or even fascinating." _Maybe that was the alcohol talking a bit._

"Ok… so you tell me, Taichi." There was a touch of exasperation over the line. "Why _would_ a straight guy be fascinated by the way another guy looks or acts?"

"Well… maybe he just… has an appreciation for something, or someone, that is aesthetically pleasing?"

This time, Taichi was sure of it – Mimi was definitely stifling a laugh.

Taichi narrowed his eyes. _How could this be funny to her? This has been plaguing him for several weeks now!_

"What's so funny?"

Mimi must have realized she was quickly approaching a danger zone, because her voice sounded a bit more serious when she said, "Oh it's not that. I- It's just weird hearing you unsure of yourself. I didn't even know that was possible. You are _our_ fearless leader after all."

Taichi pondered this for a second.

It was true that he didn't often ask for advice about his own personal life. He was also aware that he came off as fearless sometimes, but that was mainly when it came to helping his friends.

But, the thought of ending his friendship with Yamato shook Taichi to his core more than the thought of having to face off against a hundred Bakumon by himself. He certainly didn't feel all too fearless at the moment.

"Well," Mimi's voice came out thoughtfully, and somewhat carefully. "…There is one potential answer that _could_ make all the pieces fit together. Maybe you…er, I mean, 'your straight friend' isn't so str-"

There was a large crash in the background followed by a loud _meow_. "Ah, crap!" Taichi heard Mimi shout.

There was a brief silence before she added breathlessly, "Tai, I'm _soooo_ sorry to leave you but I'm going to have to hang up. Duchess just knocked over a vase and there's glass everywhere and - _ouch_ \- I think I just cut myself."

Concern flashed into Taichi's mind at the thought of his injured friend, though it was almost surpassed by the concern that he still hadn't gotten Mimi's advice. "But Mimi-"

"Don't worry, Tai, I have faith that you can figure things out. Just try and… open your mind a bit. But call me before you do anything stupid!"

And with those last cryptic words, the line went dead before Taichi could even say thanks, or let Mimi know how to safely handle broken glass, or- _most importantly_ \- ask her to elaborate.

Taichi dropped the now useless cell phone to the coffee table as he slumped into the dorm couch. _That damn cat._

Apprehension enveloped his intestines, and seeped outwards to every organ in his body.

If he were being perfectly honest with himself, he knew exactly what Mimi's words were going to be before they cut off. In fact, the words rang so clearly in his head that it was like Mimi was right next to him merrily giggling them it into his ear.

Perhaps that was because they were the same words that had been lurking under the surface all along.

 _"Maybe your straight friend isn't so straight after all."_

Well, this would complicate things.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Taichi's eye twitched, an unmistakable air of exasperation blanketing him.

Yamato was ignoring him – Taichi was sure of it.

If it hadn't already been obvious from the unanswered texts, this was the last straw. He stared sourly at the empty seat next to him in their joint psychology class. It was strangely reminiscent of the time the blond had abruptly started ignoring him their freshman year.

Taichi wracked his brains. _Did I mess something up Saturday night subconsciously?_

Aside from that dream (which Yamato couldn't possibly know about), Taichi had thought that he'd acted fairly normally all night. There were suspicious gaps of blackness in his memory… and there was that blurry spat with Yuno, but it had all seemed resolved when the two friends had said their goodbyes.

Taichi couldn't deny the tiny bubbles of relief popping inside him upon seeing Yamato's empty desk. After all, he'd almost been debating skipping class himself.

He was not looking forward to the emotions (nervousness? shame? happiness?) he would undoubtedly have in Yamato's presence because of his own confused feelings from Saturday night. But he had spent all Sunday resolving himself to behave normally around Yamato, and now that was all a waste.

Is it possible that Yamato had gotten a sense of what Taichi had been struggling with on Saturday night and he was bothered by it enough to decide to ignore Taichi?

 _Ugh, if I can't even see him, how am I supposed to know what he's thinking?!_ A frustrated Taichi thought, slamming his fist down at his desk, much to the fright of the students surrounding him.

The teacher looked away from his lecture notes and shifted his beady eyes to the brunet. "Taichi-"

Taichi swallowed. He must have gotten too caught up in his thoughts _again_.

"Is there something about Pavlov's theory that makes you extremely angry?" There were a few snickers around the class.

"Er.." _What was Pavlov's theory again? Oh right…_ "No sir, it just reminded me of this… dog I really missed." The snickers in the room amplified while he fought down the urge to cringe. _Not your best excuse, Taichi..._

"Alright, well try to keep your emotions in check next time," the teacher deadpanned in response, clearly not believing him.

"Yes, sir."

 **XxXxXxXxXx**

Yamato was crouched behind a plant, his shoulder against the cool stone of the pot, and one knee pressing uncomfortably onto the tile floor – feeling quite ridiculous.

 _It was just Taichi, his best friend, for god's sake-_

Sometimes, Yamato thought that Taichi must have picked up, or been born with, the intuition of a Digimon. What else could explain how Taichi had happened to walk into the same bookstore that Yamato had been seeking refuge in, when the brunet was supposed to be in science class?

And why was Yamato avoiding him again? Ah, right, because the last month proved what he'd kind of known since freshman year- that he couldn't just be best friends with Taichi and also be in unrequited love with Taichi, that the line was too thin and too fragile, much like his own state of mind.

"Trouble in paradise?" came a sudden low whisper in his ear, breaking him out of his morbid thoughts.

Yamato nearly jumped out of his skin.

 _"Jesus –_ Kyo, are you trying to kill me?" Yamato clutched his chest. And after he calmed down a bit, "And, yes a bit, how did you know?"

"Well, Taichi was walking around looking like he wanted to give someone a piece of his mind, or his foot. What else was I supposed to infer from that and the fact that you were trying to disguise yourself as a plant?" Kyo looked at him with a vague air of disappointment. "Which, might I add, is a very poor disguise."

"I didn't have a lot of time to hide, okay…" Yamato defended, searching the premises for a certain brown-haired boy.

"I mean, how many good-looking, blond plants do you know of?" Kyo said dramatically, leaning against the tall pot.

Yamato paused his search, unamused. "Are you trying to butter me up right now?"

"Well, I do have a favor to ask of you."

 **XxXxXxXxX**

Taichi walked quickly to the exit of the student center. Call it his Yamato-sixth-sense or whatever, but he had felt so sure that the temperamental blond was around here.

With all the students around, he'd quickly realized it would be near impossible to find someone who didn't want to be found, and decided he'd give Yamato the win – for now (don't ask him why this had turned into a competition of sorts).

Sulking in his defeat, he sent one last text to Yamato. _"Hey baka…"_

To his surprise, the phone rang loudly in his hand a moment later.

"Finally!" Taichi all but growled, bringing the phone to his ear. "What do you-"

"Uhh... Taichi?" A light voice came through the line.

Taichi's mouth shut, words still frozen on his lips. He could've slapped himself in the face. "…Carla?"

"I don't know if you got my texts- anyway, I'm back from the trip!"


End file.
